By shecrieseverytimeIremindher - 07/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Oregon City
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If she really cries every time you mention it like your name implies, she clearly doesn't have the mental capacity to know right from wrong because a good parent doesn't just take money their kid earned and then cry when they want the money.
witholding money that you have rightfully earned is illegal. but since the amount is 560 dollars, im not sure you can do anything about it, without it costing more than that. im not sure if you *can* get free lawyers anymore.
Way to justify something wrong. It's still pathetic and low to steal from your own child. My father stole over 400$ from me once and he made it seem like I had misplaced my wallet. I felt so guilty and stupid for losing so much money until years later, when he pretended he "found" it, and all the bills inside were new (didn't exist when I lost it) and exactly $400, none of my change. That's when I realized he stole from me. It was shameless that he didn't admit to it, and even more shameless that he stole from me in the first place. Did he need it? Sure. He was broke because he was too proud to get a job "beneath" his PH.D and was terrible with money management. Still. Stealing, especially stealing from a child, is pathetic. If he needed it so bad, he could have asked. There is NO WAY to justify it. OP's mom is a bitch.
My father was also bad at money managing and stole $600 from me when I was probably 9 or 10, during the middle of my parents' divorce. My mom took his name off of my savings account after that. She was nicer abkut taking money from me. I got a $5000 check from my grandparents last year and she asked if she could have half to support herself (she had just lost her job.) It still kind of bothers me that she hasn't paid me back in full, now that she has a stable job and I might buy a car soon
If this situation was reversed, with a kid, (especially if they were an adult), stealing from their parent(s), this wouldn't have even been said. The kid would have be crucified, there'd be no excuses. If you wouldn't say "If she's willing to steal money from her [parent], then she probably needs it more than you think...," then you shouldn't be saying this.
Yeah, saying that she stole it because she needed it is an attempt at justifying it. Saying someone has a 'reason' is saying there's a 'justification' for the action. So, here's a clue: Every person that does something bad has a reason- a 'justification'- for why they did it. And regardless of what the mother's 'justification' is, she still is morally in the wrong. She is withholding (or, more likely, spent) the money her daughter earned. Money that OP earned. And given the crying when the matter is brought up, I am willing to bet the crying is an attempt to guilt trip OP into dropping the subject. As for reasons- there is no good reason for her to be withholding the money without permission. IF she actually has an issue, she is an adult and expected to behave like a decent human being instead of a malformed raccoon. Which means that she should have done what any person with a working moral compass would do and ASK her daughter if she can use or keep the money. Not refuse to give it and try to con her daughter into giving up on the subject. Trying to say that the mother has a 'reason' that validates her stealing nearly 600 dollars, is like saying just because someone lost their job and needs money, they can go to the nearest bank or jewelry store and take it. Because they need it. Doesn't work that way, for that situation, which means it doesn't-shouldn't- work that way in this one. Theft is wrong, barring very specific circumstances. In fact, theft used to be consider more vile than murder in some places and time periods because you were taking things a person needed to live, and very possibly condemning them to a slow, drawn out death, and quite likely everyone they live with. It was essentially murder in some cases- and the world today isn't so advanced that the theft of six hundred dollars won't kill the victim.
That's vile! And technically stealing. Who does that to their own offspring?
You would be surprised. I've read so many FML's where the parents have stolen from their kid, claiming the child "owes the parent for raising them." Because clearly the child choose to be born. You have to be a pretty awful human being if you honestly think it's ok to steal your child's hard earned money because you raised them.
If she wont budge and legal routes arent an option for whatever reason, then there is the option to grab her debit card when shes sleeping and hit up an atm (presumably you live with her and know her pin [im assuming its common for children to know their parents pin. I grew up always knowing my parents' pins]). I wouldnt see that as being morally wrong. Its not really stealing when its yours, more of reclaiming.
What does she start going on about when she cries? The fact of the matter is that it's your money. Why is it going into her bank account in the first place?
I assume she cannot afford to pay you back the lump sum of money, hence her starting to cry whenever you mention it. My plan of action would be: 1) change the account setup so future purchases get paid into your account 2) try to get your mom to agree to a repayment plan, even if it's a small amount (hopefully she'll be able to manage $20 or $30 per month). If she really can't even afford that, see if you can't rope her in to help make more items for your shop (assuming you sell handmade items) or help you with your shop in some other way. Sorry OP, I know from experience how bad it is trying to get money out of a family member that simply is unable/unwilling to repay you.