Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked... - FML

By ahappypenguin - 26/9/2012 04:07

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

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The end of the road

Stubborn

Recycling helps

By revenueempire - 9/12/2016 21:48

Today, a client says his new website design isn't what he expected at all and wants a full refund or else he will sue me in court. The design is exactly what he picked out when I presented the mock-ups. FML

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By anonymous - 25/11/2015 01:01 - Canada

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

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By JoshWontonDo - 3/5/2016 15:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to charge my phone at school by removing the socket for the fan. All the computers in the room turned off. I accidentally removed the power cables for the computers and got suspended. FML

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By Britishboy1991 - 9/12/2016 15:50

Today, I should be working on my big project for work due next week. Instead, I'm walking in and out of the block to get all my things from my flat. My roommate lied about paying the rent for months now and has actually spending all the money on lotto tickets. And no, he didn't win anything. FML

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By anikah - 1/6/2014 21:53 - United States - Natchitoches

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

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By My Life Is Just PERFECT - 30/3/2013 15:29 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

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By frenchy - 24/3/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

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By Kingofbosses - 22/8/2013 05:31 - United States

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/6/2009 05:41 - Canada

Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

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By campus pussy - 22/3/2014 21:08 - United States - Ross

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

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By PsychoBoulevard - 13/3/2017 08:00 - United States - Tollhouse

Put the eggs in one basket!

Today, as well as for the past week, my cat finds immeasurable joy in knocking eggs of the counter and staring at me as I clean the mess. FML

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By blaahh - 19/2/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

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By helpme - 15/1/2013 07:23 - United States - Irvine

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

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By wooowmom - 5/6/2011 01:10 - Canada

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

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By Kat - 17/9/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I was trying out for a play I really wanted to be in. After my audition, I was feeling really good. She said she would post the cast list tomorrow. Not knowing where she would post it, I asked her. Her reply? "It doesn't matter. You won't be on it anyway." FML

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2015 20:55 - Australia - Caroline Springs

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

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By WhyThankYou - 26/7/2013 05:31 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/8/2020 02:01

Rude

Today, my brother-in-law still insists on referring to me as "his brother's wife" and tells everyone I'm not his "sister-in-law." I've been married to his brother for 10 years. FML

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By gabess - 4/1/2009 01:59 - France

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2019 15:00 - United States - Russellville

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

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By anonymous - 19/4/2012 22:33 - United States - Westwood

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

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By car trouble - 14/10/2016 08:12 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

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By okay - 22/7/2015 04:58 - United States - Woodstock

Today, a customer complained he never got his sandwich, even though I put it in the oven, dressed it up and served it to him. When I went to clear his table off, I saw the sandwich basket. We had to give him his money back. FML

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By PaperInfection - 23/11/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

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By cganon - 21/9/2010 12:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

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By Michele - 18/1/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

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By jasondrags - 3/7/2015 13:42 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I tried to arrange my first gallery exhibition as a photography student. Not even my mother wants to come. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/5/2013 11:13 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2012 19:05 - Malaysia - Shah Alam

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

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By kkt - 25/4/2013 04:54 - United States - Granbury

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

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By TJFuentes - 11/2/2015 13:39 - United States - Appleton

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

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By sabadaba - 19/6/2011 17:51 - United States

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

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By notthe1punchinglittlegirls - 1/7/2017 14:00

A few good men?

Today, I was visiting my in-laws and sharing a room with my husband's 17-year-old sister. Later that night she and her brother of 24 years started fist-fighting over an air mattress and I had to pull them off each other. The brother later berated me with, "You can't handle any pressure!" FML

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By Anonymous - 14/2/2010 01:21 - United States

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2015 17:24

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

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By hannahj88 - 16/10/2010 04:41 - Australia

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

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Top comments

By torbey | 23

#4973763 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 11:59

At least they weren't naked pictures of your wife!

By darthzerg | 7

#4973780 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:03

I hope you did something about this...

COMMENTS

By torbey | 23

#4973763 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 11:59

At least they weren't naked pictures of your wife!

Reply

astoryofroses | 9

#4973911 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:36

or were they... the one at home, I mean

Reply

Autoshot | 9

#4974101 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 13:37

Either way, punch him in the face.

Reply

smlrockslol | 4

#4974122 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 13:42

YOUR THE NON-BACON BELIEVER FROM THE OTHER POST!

Reply

Welshite | 39

#4974136 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 13:45

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

torbey | 23

#4974409 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 15:45

Yes I am, and proud of it :) I suggest you read my comment regarding this on that other post, thanks.

Reply

MDTeddy | 13

#4974514 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 16:13

I would tell the wife. Something doesn't seem right.

Reply

walmartpaysme | 15

#4974518 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 16:15

I'm sure his wife knows, since she had to pay her manager to take his order at work.

Reply

kamikrazy | 6

#4974794 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 17:28

1. We can only assume.

Reply

Driveshaft | 5

#4974825 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 17:41

I need closure on this anecdote!!! So...many...questions...op!

Reply

Meettitan | 14

#4975565 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 21:53

Beat his face into a red soup.

Reply

wallandpiece | 16

#4975575 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 22:02

Maybe OP's wife is involved with the mob..

Reply

kyarush | 10

#4976984 - Thursday 27 September 2012 6:44

Sounds like it's grounds for an ass whoopin' and a very good explanation to me.

By exitdecay | 6

#4973771 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:02

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

drunkandfml | 11

#4973776 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:03

That's the point, genius.

Reply

AllThingsBright_ | 11

#4980475 - Friday 28 September 2012 7:12

So let me get this straight OP... You saw a shady looking person and you actually went over to him when he beckoned for you? Whatever happened to stranger danger?

Reply

lilpsyco | 16

#5123309 - Wednesday 7 November 2012 8:57

To scare the shit out of him. He's obviously a freak so he probably has nothing else to do

By darthzerg | 7

#4973780 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:03

I hope you did something about this...

Reply

gatorade009 | 1

#4974151 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 13:53

Call the police. Save the pictures as evidence.

Reply

onlychildFTW | 33

#4975189 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 19:22

Make sure to leave his finger prints on them, just to make sure everything works out with the police. Creepy guy, you should have taken his picture and see how he likes it. Haha.

Reply

LarryLaDouche | 13

#4976173 - Thursday 27 September 2012 0:50

I wouldn't normally resort to physical violence, but for the life of me I can only think of turning this guy into dog food.

By mackdeezy | 21

#4973785 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:04

Well.... at least he's an honest stalker.... ?

Reply

yupitssoph | 18

#4974789 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 17:28

This FML honestly gave me chills, more than any other "I saw a random man/received a creepy letter" type FML ever has.

By 0ops_i_died | 8

#4973789 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:05

What a creeper.

Reply

PipingMouse | 14

#4974276 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 14:46

Time to get new drapes on our windows, honey!

Reply

jdimaria3 | 13

#4974334 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 15:13

Sssssss that'sssssssss a nice wife you have there, it would be a ssssssssshame if sssssomething were to happen to her

Reply

blushy | 14

#4974469 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 16:06

dude that is really scary. you should do somwthing about it

Reply

gc327072 | 29

#4974876 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 18:05

45- KILL IT! KILL IT WITH PICKAXES!

By thingamajiga | 5

#4973791 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:06

So what did you say to him?

Reply

OhDearBetrayal | 25

#4974163 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 13:56

"Jolly gee, stranger! I just love getting my wifes pictures but I've been so busy lately. Looks like you did all the work for me."

Reply

pavlovaaLOVE | 7

#4974418 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 15:47

Jolly gee?! Wtf. You could have been sarcastic with out that. Thats not normal.. Even in sarcasm

By Khariau | 8

#4973794 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:07

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Khariau | 8

#4973879 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:26

*in

Reply

courtney0510 | 1

#4976724 - Thursday 27 September 2012 4:34

Yeah, im thinking no.

By nightwishs | 13

#4973800 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:07

Ummm that would be when you contact the police. That's not right. That's seriously fucked up

Reply

rsunshine2020 | 13

#4976249 - Thursday 27 September 2012 1:21

You don't say.

Reply

crazycountrychic | 1

#4976298 - Thursday 27 September 2012 1:41

Definatly!! That's a problem there that needs to be reported

Reply

musicman79 | 0

#4989323 - Monday 1 October 2012 0:13

Really call the police... Not post it on fml!:P

By HeyArnold91 | 8

#4973834 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:15

That is beyond creepy. If you know what he looks like notify the police now!

Reply

toelie | 25

#4973861 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:20

On the news tonight: "The police are looking for a shady looking person."

Reply

ZombieSazza | 34

#6317312 - Thursday 11 June 2015 15:49

Well actually, his finger prints would highly likely be on the photo prints. If the cops are bored enough (which I doubt) they would be maybe be able to get an identification from that.

By MrBond007_fml | 6

#4973839 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 12:16

If they were nice prints you should keep them, maybe hang them up somewhere. How nice of this man to take photos of your wife free of charge.
Wait are you sure your not on like a cruise ship or something?

Reply

ammerhammer | 3

#4976806 - Thursday 27 September 2012 5:14

Do you do that? Are you the stalker? Why else would defend him?

Reply

CrystalWest | 4

#4977694 - Thursday 27 September 2012 13:29

It's a joke, genius