Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, my friend had invited me to his home for a movie night with another friend. I had to decline because I have prior plans. He then revealed that they only wanted me there so I could bring DVDs, but "don't worry, we'll find something on Netflix to watch instead." FML
Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML
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Top comments
theMIGHTYduck 0
way to check the case ;)
depechemode 0
That surely made your father's pencil.. appear, didn't it?
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Comments (79)
plexico 4
Your dad probably puked when he saw your mom's old Batwings.
redbluegreen 41
At least that makes her Batcave explorable.
plexico 4
But then Dad drops trou and out pops The Joke. I mean, The Joker.
redbluegreen 41
Off topic, but I always wonder how comedians have sex. Or more actually, how they keep on having/getting sex.
allmidnighteyes 11
Imma take a line from Patton Oswalt here. "I'm on basic cable, I get pussy." Apparently, being on basic cable leads to irresponsible, desperate, what-the-****-are-we-doing *******... like viking sex on a burning ship...
redbluegreen 41
Isn't the boat only on fire when someone's dead?
Clever_Sleazoid 0
Suuure. you know that was your ****.
alsoelp 0
You're a terrible liar. We can all tell that you knew what was in the case when you gave it to them. You don't have to be ashamed about having fantasies involving your parents. You should be, but you don't have to be.
Jenny444_fml 0
#28 how are you so sure? The only way i can tell if people are lying is if im talking to them face to face and read their face expressions and body language but you can read them without looking wow.. It happens to people a lot. I went to my sisters room to get a CD and what i found was a movie a XXX movie the disturbing thing is that it was lesbians so ewwwww anyways. I agree this is an FML lol because room mates are the worst when it comes to "borrowing your stuff"
redbluegreen 41
Nothing wrong with lesbians... Or lesbian ****.
allmidnighteyes 11
#31 don't lie. We all know they were your movies she stole.
Watchmaker 2
I am 12 and what is this?
SneakyMuffin 0
Sex videos
metsfan189 0
get a new roommate...
balor_fml 0
You deserve it for having such a lame movie be your favorite.
El_mariachi 0
#40 has no taste in movies
babygraprefruit 0
Your roommate? Right.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Bow chicka wow-wow. Let's not pretend your parents didn't watch it, enjoy it, and then enjoy it to a greater extent later that night. You should be proud that you helped your parents achieve a night of intense pleasure through a simple mix-up. I'm sure mum and dad are very grateful to you and your roommate, regardless of the strict, reprimanding lecture.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Ignore this. Posted twice.
lollipop217 0
YDI because the Dark Knight is one of your favorite movies
balor_fml 0
omg finally someone who agrees with me!