Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML
Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
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Top comments
H00K_M 8
You forgot to say she's pregnant.
meganasoarus 0
isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?
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Comments (163)
Ash_Crow 0
"The Simpsons already did it."
MrSoloDollo 0
except herpes that shit will follow you
Igor_g5 0
You're not supposed to give your address to one night stands.
Islander_fml 5
Well, are you in a relationship or no? If you are, YDI. If not, most definitely FYL.
Jakethesnake89 0
Next time don't say your real name haha epic fail!
justbigbs 6
good personality? is she hot, can she cook, if all the yes's why not?
wriptidez 0
call cops
CreativJam 3
if he lives with someone then he'll soon be joining her on the doorstep with a suitcase!
DaniPickles 0
you douchebag you don't do that crap you will pay what comes around goes around that's a fo sho my friend FO SHO
nimzie 0
stalker