Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to move down to the third floor because after complaining about rats on my rooftop the landlord put down traps. The rats died. Flies came. The flies laid eggs. The eggs birthed maggots. The maggots rained down from my broken ceiling into my bed and all over my floor. I'm not okay. FML
Today, I woke up to find my entire lounge floor crawling with maggots. Our whole house is clean, and they’re big enough to be days old, yet showed up overnight. I still have no idea where they’ve come from. FML
Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, after days of cleaning out pantry cabinets and throwing away infested food, I thought I had finally gotten rid of my moth problem. Then I vacuumed, and saw several dozen larvae coming out of my carpet. FML
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Step one: Head to your local outdoor shop. Step two: Buy a sleeping bag. Nothing fancy, it's just for a couple nights. Step three: Sleep ANYWHERE else in your house. Step four: Schedule a ******* exterminator, man!
heyidcstfu 0
how the heck do you get that in the first place? clean homes usually don't develop those kinds of infestations. I would have to say ydi giving the info.
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Comments (120)
docscientist 10
Just open your mouth and let them slide right in.
LoveMySoldier82 0
Just threw up a little in my mouth. Op buy a big bottle of bug spray from your local hardware store and go in your attic. Also, dispose of the body outside next time.
docscientist 10
Glad to be of service.
tommurry 1
stop being such a dirtyass
ElmerSniffedGlu 0
clean your house!!
LittleMonsterSam 5
OH GOD! I would sleep with a friend
lilmisslovely13 15
hee hee hee
Zebidee 9
The 'house built out of dung' plan isn't looking so great now, huh? Seriously - get up in the attic with a can of bug spray. Don't sleep in a house infested with maggots. Call an exterminator. How the hell helpless could you possibly be?!
mughni 10
YDI for not cleaning ur apartment!!!
cougar41 8
clean your fly infested filthy house then dirty person !!!
derek2143 0
I know how you feel man. I had that on my room , they were living in my light an they would drop to my bed. but once we found out where they where they were easy to get rid of
microgoddess 2
dude something has died in your attic. or the apt above you. it's worth checking out
zombiekitten87 12
seriously? another maggot-related fml? why would maggots be on your ceiling far away from their food source? they don't travel for the fun of it, they usually stick close to whatever they were laid on.