Miscellaneous: Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute... - FML

By Nick - 10/05/2011 07:37 - Philippines

Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 429

You deserved it 21 626

Best teeth in the game

Deception

Drugs are bad, well, some of them

By Nicole - 19/09/2011 20:16 - United States

Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 733

You deserved it 44 490

By KTK - 18/02/2009 01:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 831

You deserved it 3 389

By dmachin - 08/02/2010 19:30 - France

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 079

You deserved it 2 118

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 05:02

Spicy

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy 6 months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 074

You deserved it 174

Long list

By Unfortunate - 02/06/2021 16:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after two years of dating. So far this year, I sprained my wrist, my dog died, my best friend of 6 years ended our friendship, I was diagnosed with PMDD, my cat died, I had an ovarian cyst rupture, and I got turned down for every job I applied for. Only 7 more months to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 98

By Too much skin? - 18/02/2018 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 554

You deserved it 366

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 202

You deserved it 41 555

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 17:16 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 342

You deserved it 32 958

He's trying to kill you!

By Mary - 21/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, while at a party, my boyfriend threw a temper tantrum. He screamed at me and then gave me the silent treatment. All because I said, "No thank you" to the crab dip he got for me. I'm allergic to shellfish, we've been dating for two years and it's come up before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 199

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736 672

You deserved it 493 983

By CallMeJesusFreak - 23/06/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 942

You deserved it 7 875

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 14:37 - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 746

You deserved it 2 658

Gun control

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 20:01

Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 124

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, I shoved my tits in my boyfriend's face and he chose to continue playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 833

You deserved it 829

By Person15 - 26/11/2011 23:13 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 319

You deserved it 10 439

By 30Jenna - 13/07/2011 22:01 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 688

You deserved it 6 286

By Richocet - 18/05/2009 00:35 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 121

You deserved it 36 265

By J.Smith - 15/01/2009 16:12 - France

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 2 168

By choker - 14/03/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 703

You deserved it 8 261

By Yubi - 11/01/2009 15:22 - Belgium

Today, my mother told me: "If you didn't exist, I wouldn't stay with your father". So it's MY fault if she's having problems with him? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 081

You deserved it 2 350

By twinkletoes - 17/09/2012 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 028

You deserved it 2 559

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 743

You deserved it 3 100

By Unlucky - 19/12/2018 02:00 - United Kingdom - Bagworth

Spicy

Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 944

You deserved it 493

By eagerbeaver - 03/09/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 093

You deserved it 8 875

By UhhhUhhhRRRick - 05/03/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 017

You deserved it 4 370

By claira - 08/10/2018 13:30

Today, my mom made me take a pregnancy test since I missed my last 4 periods. It came back positive and my mom grounded me. I’ve never had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 714

You deserved it 363

By PmS - 08/03/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, I was going over to my friends house for dinner, (it was my birthday) when I walked in everyone yelled surprise and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me she said "wrong person guys, turn off the lights". FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 561

You deserved it 3 324

By blaise - 13/04/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 168 271

You deserved it 13 327

By twelvie - 23/03/2015 14:24 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 763

You deserved it 2 895

By anonymous - 24/04/2012 18:18 - United States

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 082

You deserved it 3 307

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 672

You deserved it 4 530

By Anonymous - 01/07/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 172

You deserved it 3 106

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 6 307

By lds124 - 29/10/2009 04:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a first date with an employee from Sobey's who asked for my number while I was grocery shopping. We decided to each bring a friend. I brought my roommate. He brought his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 167

You deserved it 3 947

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 295

You deserved it 4 124

By lionhead14 - 20/05/2011 19:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 869

You deserved it 42 395

By iNearlyHurled - 28/09/2012 08:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 905

You deserved it 2 798

By Anthony - 14/04/2016 23:15 - France

Spicy

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 124

You deserved it 1 644

By crazy_mom - 01/11/2010 15:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 545

You deserved it 4 335

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 03:44 - United States

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 046

You deserved it 3 262

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:05

They weren't laughing with you, they were laughing at you.

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:21

By laughing you probably fooled them into thinking that the joke didn't bother you much.

Comments

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:05

They weren't laughing with you, they were laughing at you.

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 20:20

Joke with them next time. Build your confidence, accept who you are and what they found funny about it- Nothing kills a bully's buzz like not getting a victim's reaction. If what they were saying bothers you about yourself, work over time to change it, and move on.

NStarB 13

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 21:27

i cba to read what u just Said but, i totally agree.

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Wednesday 11 May 2011 20:35

well it's good to be able to laugh at yourself once in a while

c8750 2

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:05

So what was the joke?

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:19

I would say op was the joke...^

CommonSenseKarma 17

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Wednesday 11 May 2011 3:48

What... like, his floppy ears? No one ever makes fun of my ears, they can be pretty erect when they're aroused... by noise.

Matrixuniverses 13

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Sunday 30 March 2014 4:28

they were probably joking about a stupid thing op did.

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:13

Wow, I'm from the same country as OP. Hope I see you to find out the joke.

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:21

By laughing you probably fooled them into thinking that the joke didn't bother you much.

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:26

agreed! guess it's better to laugh then have an awkward moment...

boredSOLDIER 33

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 18:24

unless he went like "oh wait" then stormed off crying

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 22:47

^^ THAT would be hilarious

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:26

that's good. your not in denial.

EvilHippyEmperor 0

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:28

If it was a good joke then taking it with good grace and laughing it off will at least make you look like a good sport.

paradiseisland01 0

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:33

by laughing they have no idea that you didn't understand that the joke was about you . So really no one is the wiser.

iLazy 0

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:36

Well laugh and the whole world laughs with you. However, if you reacted like "HAHAHA... HEY!" then they see you as a dumbass.

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 17:09

^Couldn't have said it better. If you didn't give away your slowness, they'll probably think better of you now: The guy who can seemingly take a joke and laugh at himself gets more respect than the herpyderp one who, as posted above, has a "HAHAHAHAH-... HEY!!!11oneeleventy" moment.

HeavyMetalViking 0

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 17:31

Well, now we know why they were making fun of you in the first place.

Barney_Rubble_75 0

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 18:27

that's a bit mean but I had a lol moment all the same. ha ha!

wtfmylifedude 8

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 18:00

Was it a "dumb" joke?

Nearly

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 37

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 594