Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML
Today, I went through a self-checkout at a grocery store. The machine kept repeating, “Please remove the unexpected item in the bagging area.” After five attempts, an employee came over and discovered the “unexpected item” was my own elbow resting on the counter. FML
Today, as I turned to face the cashier at the supermarket, I managed to knock over an entire display of gift cards with my backpack. FML
Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML
Today, I accidentally scanned a customer’s item twice. Before I could take it off, she quickly leaned over the counter and coughed on me. Repeatedly. FML
Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML
Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
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