Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
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Top comments
thehumanlyhuman 7
If your roommate doesn't fess up to her, you'll have some serious butt-whoopin' to do.
vipirius 18
If she freaks out about guys watching ****, she's going to be single for a looong time.
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Comments (84)
Flashman9000 9
You are lucky, she is clearly a prude. Find someone open minded and fun.
skitzymew 19
Here I am, watching **** with my boyfriend while other girls find it offensive...alrighty then.
TaysDarkLust 11
You aren't the only one.
etishuman22 32
Yeah I got attacked yesterday by being annoyed by girls and their insecurities. I guess I don't care as much? **** is awesome. Other girls can suck it.
jhs578650 9
I generally like to work things out in a relationship, but in your case I would cut my losses and find someone else. If my girlfriend ever hit me, for any reason, I would dump her right then and there.
haoua_fml 3
Password is necessarily on personal computer!!!
etishuman22 32
I don't do that because that could end up in trouble. Who is to say that your relationship doesn't work out and it ends badly? Then suddenly your tatas and your lady parts are on Facebook or emailed to all your male friends. I'm just saying I've been down that road, they won't delete them, and I don't do it anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and I send him clothed selfies once a month or something, but I don't send him anything NSFW.
Akuna_fml 8
As a woman, the first thing that comes to mind is 'WTF kind of **** did he have up that made her flee?' Then I had to remember that some women don't like ****, which is sad.
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
There are different levels of not liking it. For some (like me) it does nothing for them so it's just whatever. I prefer writing out stuff to get me in the mood. For others it's sinful or disgusting and that's based on personal beliefs.
iwadasn 33
Yes, how sad that there are people in the world who aren't exactly like you. Different people have different tastes.
djinnyf 12
How old is she? Gosh!!
Omniprism 15
She's an idiot. You're better off. If she assumed it was you then she's going to assume many things and if she flies off the handle for something so ridiculous then she will do it again. Find a nice chill girl who will make fun of you and your **** and want to watch it with you when she feels like it.
sanecatlady 13
This is why I live alone. Roommates are nothing but trouble.
frod0 10
What's wrong with ****? Even though it was a joke like still. She sounds like a prude.