Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
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Top comments
annie_nk 23
"I said sit, not shit!"
caden_bro 9
Your BF seems a little emotional. And ridiculous. Just try to talk some sense into him.
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Comments (56)
saraitkddh 47
Is your boyfriend a 12 year old?
sunnyray812 42
If your puppy is "new," it's going to take a while to train it to do anything. Your boyfriend shouldn't hold a grudge.
Wizardo 34
Sounds like two young uns need training...
tranced_ 45
time to make a choice between your boyfriend or your doggie.. choose wisely, live well
rockne93 17
First time my friends came over to see my puppy golden retriever, she took a dump at their feet 3 times in 5 minutes
ItsATwinThing 9
Yeah my bull terrier use to pee whenever someone new came in because she was so excited.
imbedderdenu 23
ummm that's a view into your future. He can handle that? Pretty much sums up the "man" right there.
underthesea12 24
good job with the training!
Enslaved 38
"P-p-p-p-p Puppy Power!" Did you name doggie-- Scrappy-"DOO" after that?
perdix 31
You could become Cesar Milan's wacky, new sidekick, The Dog Pooperer.
buddy_J 16
I hear so many stories of retarded significant others on here. I knew there were a lot of idiots out there but damn