Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
metakingt 0
how the hell does a dog dying sound like your parents having sex?
ISellHerbs 0
It was going to happen anyway whether you could have gotten it to a vet or not, there just wasn't enough time. But if you are used to dealing with your parents engaging in those activities, you need draw some borders.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (219)
EveryDayJackAss 0
....well....suppose your dog was masturbating, but somehow manages to kill itself in the process. THAT IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No_Life23 0
How the hell does the OP deserve this? This is a horrible story which I am very sorry to hear. :(
CaptainPat 0
FYL for having a mom that sounds like a dying dog when shes getting ******.
replaceme 0
This FML makes me want to cry :(
ti3n_t 0
I know what happened. Your dog found a time portal and he travelled back in time to the Jurassic Period. There he was chased by dinosaurs and was stomped on by a Stegasuarus that was being chased by a T-rex. Knowing that his death would alter the balance of the space time continuim, causing everyone to cease to exist inc you, his owner which he loved dearly, your dog figured that he had to find a way back into the present day. He summoned the power to travel at the speed of light from a single jump and eventually came back to the present. Your dog is a true hero, who never had a voice, never a chance to tell his story. Shame on you for leaving him to die like that.
mishel 0
Epic ... thank you.
princesssparkles 0
awh that is so sad.:( i wouldve felt horrible if i was you. people who are making fun of it shut up. fyl.
suzsmith 0
That's sad. I mean, there's no real way you could know, so don't feel too bad.
newmoonmaniac 0
i think it's terrible that someone would think this person deserves what happened to them. there really was know way of knowing what was going on behind the closed door. i mean she could have taken the risk and opened it...what if it had been her parents...AWKWARD!...i'm sure she never would have guessed that it was her dog. so whoever said that this person deserves what happened to them...think about your vote. does anyone really deserve this to happen to them?
Igor_g5 0
Your paerents doing it sound like a dying dog? Poor them.
klutz0007 0
man that sucks. I'm sorry for your loss. :[