Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave, "He's out of my league; you're not." FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out, I asked him about it. He replied, "Don't worry, she's perfect and is way too good for me." FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML
Today, I saw a message on my boyfriend's phone from one of his friends, saying I was a downgrade from his ex. FML
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Top comments
bonermonkey 31
cheating asshole...
emeraldisle 30
And now he's your ex-boyfriend.
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Comments (80)
nitrog100 21
Well, it's better for both of you that things are ending now. Plenty of people will stay in a relationship, even if they're not really happy, simply because they don't want to be single. He just wasn't that into you. Maybe you'll find someone who loves you, and maybe you won't. At least you have the opportunity now.
bortego10 7
I hope you ment "my now ex-boyfriend"
Incognico 22
How many seconds did it take you to kick his a**?
drshn 22
Do we have to do it all the time? it is ex now, can wer please move on.
Brokeandsad 8
I sincerely hope you're not stupid enough to still be with this bastard. Find somebody who feels lucky to have you!
xXBlakDayXx 17
And you didn't interrupt, why?
Oz_the_great 10
Does this line really work??
DemonBoy1988 22
That escalated quickly