Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Time to pretend
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Very posh
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Time flies
Today, I noticed my unopened box of Viagra passed its 'use by' date three months ago. My sex life ended in 2022. FML
Erection for Protection
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Top comments
perdix 31
Why did you buy so many? I'd call that ****-eyed optimism!
tgm0112 0
#2 Latex loses elasticity and becomes more likely to fail upon operation. Takes several years, mind you, but it happens. #3 You're a moron.
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Comments (65)
irforever 0
haha fyl! it's not that important anyways!!
lexi0413 1
they expire due to the rubber breaking. and how old are u that u rant having sex all the time are u old
Norrec86 7
Give the guy a break. Maybe he had a girlfriend when he bought them. Its much cheaper to buy them in bulk. And for all you people who didnt know they expire I feel sorry for you. Im a chick and I knew that.
davidm200 6
well..... nice to keep at least a few around...... u never know whats gonna happen.....! lol
BostonBear 33
time to get out more
igsmokey 2
Maybe you should know that condoms are sins and sex before marriage is too
will_5801 13
Hey. Atleast it was a thirty-five pack