Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Time to pretend
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Very posh
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Time flies
Today, I noticed my unopened box of Viagra passed its 'use by' date three months ago. My sex life ended in 2022. FML
Erection for Protection
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Top comments
perdix 31
Why did you buy so many? I'd call that ****-eyed optimism!
tgm0112 0
#2 Latex loses elasticity and becomes more likely to fail upon operation. Takes several years, mind you, but it happens. #3 You're a moron.
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Comments (65)
manutd3287 0
No one wanna hittchu up son!
tkinfidel 0
lol at 26!
hyphymowgli 0
damn that sucks man!!! i would definitely work on that.
anonacs 0
Don't wear condoms.
goldenlad 0
I can only commiserate that you've not had any lately, but I also applaud you that you are sensible enough to throw out expired condoms. There's too many stupid people out there who have no idea that they expire, (read the packets people). If more people were as sensible as you, there'd be fewer cases of HIV and other STDs.
PandaPandaPandaX 0
Yeah. Like kids.
jchansfan 0
I hope it stays that active... 'cause I'm mean... lol
kukopia 0
Shoulda sold em on ebay - surely some drug mule would LUV a bargain! Or freshen em up w/ armor-all!
manjunk 0
somebody had high expectations of themselves... especially considering condoms have a shelf life of 3-4 years if im not mistaken
Brandon25 0
this isnt even funny ;/
idontloveyou_86 0
i think it is good that this man is dedicating his life to something else. when you're the prime minister, you don't have time for that. or even if you're not the prime minister. basically nobody should have sex ever. stop the smut, save the splanet.