Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Today, our daughter was going to a cosplay event, until her dad saw the costume, or lack thereof, that she was planning to wear in public, with people taking photographs of her. He got so mad, he actually burst a blood vessel in his neck and had to go to hospital. She still went to the event. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
Today, my ex had the bright idea of trying to bond with our son by taking him to a UFC fight. Our son is only 8 and autistic. It’s been hours and he hasn’t stopped crying about the "big scary men that kept hurting each other." FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
I bet he was Honeysuckle. That one seems like a tough pony.
CommunistBanana 8
Friendship is not always magic :(
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Comments (220)
soundwave148 8
Your the one who raised him
heliophobia 13
OP, I'm curious as to why you posted this, especially claiming you wish you had never had your son. The internet community does not take parents wishing their children gone with sympathy. Who cares that he dressed as a My Little Pony character. Maybe you should take up that whole "mothering" thing and teach your son not to get into fist fights unless it's self defense? However, most people, myself included, are more appalled by your wishing you had never had him. In a sense, I agree, you are not fit to have a kid, but you have him and it is your obligation to raise him; do so without complaining. Even if you mean it jokingly, how would you imagine your son reacting to this?
young_stud 14
you wish you never bred? why? this whole thing is your fault. you raised him to be the wimp that is
ikouzeallonsy 3
I was dressed as rainbow dash--
martin8337 36
Which one?
Tech__Support 2
**** you asshole the brony fandom should not be insulted by a disgrace like you.
grumpy94533 11
That's not very nice to say :( hope you're joking
Huddisher 10
Most "Bronies" only claim they like My Little Pony because it gets them in a certain group of people; at least I knew a lot who did. I was never a Brony/Pony, but I was young during the "scene"/"emo" phase and I only dressed in black, typed words like "meh", talked about tacos and dinosaurs, parted my hair, and said I only liked this type of music to fit in and seem "cool", not because I liked the style or the way things were typed. I don't mean to upset anyone, but I was 14-16 years old during a phase and it sucked me in. I experienced everyone around the age of 14-16 get sucked in, too. Now that I'm older, I can't stand to think that I typed like a 10 year old and was something that I wasn't. But what I'm saying is that maybe this Brony stuff is a phase, but if it's not, that's okay too. I think wishing you never "bred" is kind of harsh.
MrsDruidess 23
OP, that's the worst thing a parent van say, all because you didn't like your childs costume or that he got into a fight about it?? That's just horrible!
splitintwo 6
I say a fight on Halloween is pretty average. Although you may want to have a talk about proirities and make sure he isn't "clopping" in innapropraite situtations