Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Today, our daughter was going to a cosplay event, until her dad saw the costume, or lack thereof, that she was planning to wear in public, with people taking photographs of her. He got so mad, he actually burst a blood vessel in his neck and had to go to hospital. She still went to the event. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
Today, my ex had the bright idea of trying to bond with our son by taking him to a UFC fight. Our son is only 8 and autistic. It’s been hours and he hasn’t stopped crying about the "big scary men that kept hurting each other." FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
I bet he was Honeysuckle. That one seems like a tough pony.
CommunistBanana 8
Friendship is not always magic :(
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Comments (220)
davincidasecond 24
Although I've never understood the brony thing, that's a really shitty thing to say about your own child. I really hope he has no idea you think that way of him.
gloomy_princess 2
Don't say you wish you never bred! That's terrible! At least it was a person with the same idea and not someone who thought it was lame.
that60steen 5
They clearly aren't remembering to love and tolerate. :(
liaRawr 9
Why'd he go as a my little pony character?
LatinStallion 1
Because he's a brony? Yeah... that probably it.
scullbashnash 2
you sir, are a ******* prick thats your child and u just wish u never bred...
grumpy94533 11
That's not vet nice to say
megalizard92 12
That's really horrible, why would you not want your child just because he likes a certain TV show?
yzzami 17
*ancient aliens guy* Bronies.
someguy314159265 15
Am I the only one who thinks it's perfectly justified to be ashamed of your child if he has done shameful things?
cbhoward1998 8
bwahahaha that's hilarious. I hope your son recovers quickly though.