Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Today, our daughter was going to a cosplay event, until her dad saw the costume, or lack thereof, that she was planning to wear in public, with people taking photographs of her. He got so mad, he actually burst a blood vessel in his neck and had to go to hospital. She still went to the event. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
Today, my ex had the bright idea of trying to bond with our son by taking him to a UFC fight. Our son is only 8 and autistic. It’s been hours and he hasn’t stopped crying about the "big scary men that kept hurting each other." FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
I bet he was Honeysuckle. That one seems like a tough pony.
CommunistBanana 8
Friendship is not always magic :(
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Comments (220)
nightshadow2002 5
Dame thoughs broines
abnormalbird 11
Sometimes my fandom embarasses me.
Baller_Bob 17
Your son deserved it
sirnitro12 14
If your 15 year old son goes outside dressed as a magical pony from a little girl show, he deserves to get his ass beat senseless.
junpeiIori 17
Imagine his injuries if he went to Brony-Con. On second thought, don't.
Adree 15
I think it's wrong for you to say you wish you'd never had your son. Even as a joke, that's a horrible, atrocious thing to say. I hope you regret saying that.
Kalhenwrath 13
I gave you a "you deserve it" mostly because you could have A: used a condom or B: swallowed.
404wan 19
**** you for saying that. really. **** you. you raised him to be both a brony and to get into fistfights over costumes. this is on you.