Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
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Top comments
Gift_fml 0
haha, thats funny
kingtz 6
1 girl 1 cup: the golden shower edition?
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Comments (131)
MissMaid 0
well at least urine is sterile...
yuggi1 11
OP might want to clean around the cup. I'm sure he'd hate to get the medical staff's hand soiled. It would we SO MUCH AWKWARD.
kaykay9080 5
You can't piss in a cup? Idiot op.
crazedguy 0
bear gryllis finds nothing wrong here
lifesuxs21 0
hahahahha
lmfpomfa69 0
Fail.
toxicmurder109 4
lol
hhvamp3 0
haha
559boss 0
fucken sucks for you lol:)
koolbop56 0
why do you post such stupid comments? he's not posting this as he's peeing... I think it's a tad late to suggest that he find a mop.
j_cat187 20
wher u stoned during thr drug test