Fatherhood

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 18:00

Today, and in the month since our son was born, my husband has lost interest in fatherhood entirely. This morning, our son had naptime in the kitchen, while he was also in the kitchen on a 2-hour work call, and according to him that was father-son bonding time just because they were in the same room. FML
I agree, your life sucks 724
You deserved it 187

Same thing different taste

Top comments

he's one month old... ALL bonding with him is essentially just being in the same room.

At that age, it’s all about survival. I didn’t even truly bond with my kids until they were a few months old and I’m widely regarded as a damn good dad. Cut the guy a break.

Comments

That is a lot more than many fathers would do. What do you do while the child is asleep? I would hope you are getting some rest. I'd worry more I'd the father was planning on going out for milk/cigarettes. Give him time. when your child is awake more and more active, you may well see what it is you are expecting.

I’m sorry, but if Dad had refused to take his work call, lost his job, and then couldn’t support his family, how exactly would that be any better? … Both parents have a duty to care for their children and that includes providing food and shelter and protection and love. Many parents divide those roles as opposed to dividing equally each role based purely on what each can do… It would be great if Fathers and Mothers both had paid extended maternity leave. But that’s not usually the case. You have to make do with what you can do…

The decent thing to do then, is acknowledging that you can't do something, like spend time with the kid, instead of acting like you actually are doing the thing.

he's one month old... ALL bonding with him is essentially just being in the same room.

I'd count that as Take Your Kid to Work Day!

Communicate to your husband your expectations for what you consider quality father-son bonding time. How is he to know otherwise? Considering your son's age, what he is doing is a good start.

That early on is mom bonding time, dad should only be in the periphery. Give the guy a break, his time will come and he will do fine.

At that age, it’s all about survival. I didn’t even truly bond with my kids until they were a few months old and I’m widely regarded as a damn good dad. Cut the guy a break.

Did he want kids in the first place? Is this a conversation the two of you had? If not, that's a bad sign... if so, and the father was on board with having kids, he needs to know he can't want kids and then not show them any attention. It doesn't work that way. This coming from someone who has no kids.