Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend didn’t know what quotation marks are. He’s 34. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that the Earth is not flat. He didn’t believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML
Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BlackHawkSavior 28
34 mouse years or 34 human years?
Tripartita 45
Damn, so when that mouse was bragging to me about running several miles, he was talking about ACTUAL miles?! That IS impressive.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
Adam_Power58 16
I would have loved to hear his explanation as to why they are different and what size they actually are , how does that even come up!?
blazingshot147 19
To be fair, I would think that because a mouse is 100x smaller than me so they would have to do much more work to move a mile compared to me. Then again, I have random moments such as OPs husband so I can't say much.
Stormcloak429 14
I personally would like to hear the explanation of how this even came up. Like, how does one naturally bring up "mouse miles" in a conversation?
Bibblejomin 18
"Whoa, did you see that mouse run by?! It must've been going about 65 MMPH." "...what the **** is MMPH?"
PenguinBitch 44
3 miles for a mouse is equivalent to the hobbit journey to destroy the ring.
gracehi 33
Mouse Frodo lives!
Tripartita 45
Damn, so when that mouse was bragging to me about running several miles, he was talking about ACTUAL miles?! That IS impressive.
Dexter83_fml 17
Peter griffin ??
miss_fluffybutt 17
They may not be smaller miles, but they're cuter ... than your boyfriend.
collinchildress 12
Hey props for abstract thinking. Can't hardly find that anymore
i8cake 12
Oh he's a bright one! Good luck with explaining nautical miles to him!
GreyJedi 10
It's all about perspective.
remometol 16
Well, miles are based on feet, which were based off of someone's foot, so I guess there's a bit of logic in that. But seriously people, just use the metric system..
PinkasaurusRex 25
They are not based off of someone's foot...
gracehi 33
They are. It used to be called "The King's foot." Trouble was, every time a new king's reign began, the unit of measurement would change, so they picked a foot and never changed it again. I must say though, that guy's foot was huge.
PinkasaurusRex 25
Well, now I know. You learn something new every day. :)
KillerCheez 2
Classic girl dating an idiot... next...