Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, a guy hit my car, and I threatened to sue him after he started the conversation rudely. He told me to go ahead, because he doesn’t have any money or a job anyway, then because from his perspective he had nothing else really to lose, he kicked my ass. FML
Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML
Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, after the opportunity for a little malicious compliance came my way, and I did exactly what my prick boss told me to do, knowing it would screw him over in about a week, it happened. Unfortunately, he has a good legal team and he just successfully sued me for £100,000. I may have to sell my house. FML
Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should sue him for getting violent and messing up your office. And then you should sue him for trying to force you to take a frivolous case. And then you should sue him for threatening you!
SkoomaKi 28
I'm willing to bet this guy is old. Old people just have a natural thing for complaining. We give them a nice retirement home and a phone call once a month, what could they complain about?
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Comments (164)
nebula748 14
It's cute when idiots think they know the law.
groupleader 7
Good to know you respect confidentiality..by posting this as an FML. And people think lawyers are 2 steps below scum for what reason? You sir, are a pansy.
Axipiter 24
And they're one step above Blackhawks fans...
Levvy 22
So, Mr. Neighbor, found a new attorney yet?
lynkynpark86 7
Well clearly, being a lawyer, you know the law. Exercise your freedom of speech to it's fullest extent upon him.
technochik3 12
LMFAO at 97!!! civil rights is not the same thing as civil war!!
smydiwannafthata 5
Sue him for that!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Should've just recommended one of your competitors.
lorenaleeye_fml 4
He's a suer
HandsomeRatch 20
"If I sprain my ankle While I'm robbing your place If I hurt my knuckles When I punch you in the face I'm gonna sue, sue Yes, I'm gonna sue Sue, sue, yeah that's what I'm gonna do "
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
WEIRD AL YANKOVIK REFERENCES. YOU SIR WIN COMMENT OF THE DAY AWARD.
krewer21 1
I'm so over the victim society. We need to man up again!
hateevryone 15
Pansy? lol