Anony-moose
United States
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bronx, United States
Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML
Anonymous
United States
Lost in translation
Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML
oliverP123
United States
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
milkysubstance
Brisbane, Australia
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
yerface
United States
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
wow
France
Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
baffled
Norwich, United Kingdom
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Leashaness
United States
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
HairyBoobs
United States
So, here's the thing…
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
United States
Please explain
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML
Top comments
EelJumpsRope 0
Reinforce the fact that bologna nipples are gross and smaller nipples are a blessing.
MagicallyFat 12
Worst super power. EVER.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
hatersgunnahat 0
Were you telling the truth? ;)
smartash20 0
Please tell me you're a doctor and not a dentist?
aPieceOfFruit 16
your a much better person than me. I would have congratulated them that they get to have a nipple-shrinking-disorder named after them.....
Saraaahx3 0
Is she blonde?? O.o
Blergg3283 7
maybe her boobs were getting bigger and her nips are a type of reference point that she wasn't obviously realizing
SummerFever 8
Until I read the name, I was certain that DocBastard wrote this.
Lynzwood 0
Today, I went to the Dr. To get help. It took months to get the courage to ask about my nipples!!! Dr posted my story all over FML.com..... FML
margie4peace 11
If the patient reads FML, you are screwed. You do not have to give her name in order to violate HIPAA. Shame on you. Moderator: I would delete this OP if I were you. I am a consultant in the medical field.
Sirin_fml 47
Absolutely no personally-identifiable information is in the FML. The only specific is the country, so it is completely anonymous. There is no real violation of the HIPAA in this case.
hateevryone 15
maybe they're slowly starting to sag.
Thriller721 1
Just get her a magnifying glass