Intimacy: Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not... - FML

By gringa_Peru - 18/04/2009 01:19 - Peru

Spicy

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 285

You deserved it 9 878

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Spicy

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 295

You deserved it 5 721

Three's a crowd

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 700

You deserved it 4 023

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 3 420

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 134

You deserved it 1 488

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 581

You deserved it 6 278

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 904

You deserved it 3 724

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 829

You deserved it 30 082

By Anonymous - 22/09/2017 04:30

Spicy

Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 112

You deserved it 4 725

Slippy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 121

You deserved it 2 566

Next

Top comments

nodbor 11

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:19

even dicks need a place to rest.

Narsh 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:19

How could anyone possibly say that you deserved this? FYL indeed.

Comments

jakeroney98 14

Friday 28 March 2014 2:54

Well, you were kinda right about it being a head

doglady 16

Friday 3 April 2015 4:23

If it happens again give it a good pinch.

floridagreg 10

Friday 22 January 2016 5:00

More like face to head.

Scrat382 8

Monday 1 February 2016 13:34

Grab, pull hard and he will never do things like that again.

I_Like_Pengwinz 3

Friday 5 February 2016 22:54

PERUUUU

iMuffinKat 16

Saturday 19 March 2016 5:51

At least you didn't accidentally bump your mouth onto it when turning your head...right??

TheRiddler23 9

Friday 10 June 2016 6:09

My profile picture

griddy24 18

Friday 14 June 2019 17:26

God, the shit that women put up with. It just never ends

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 578

You deserved it 4 141

Today, I have an autoimmune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 396

You deserved it 2 770

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 274

You deserved it 11 369

Today, and for the past few weeks, I've been hyper-aware of my heartbeat, and super paranoid that it’s just going to randomly stop beating at any time. This is a constant state for me, and it isn’t going away no matter what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 253

Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 803

You deserved it 321

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 974

You deserved it 2 816