Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, my dog peed on my bed because my parents were presumably having sex and I was too scared to go downstairs and take her out because of it. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I'm sure he was bribed with dog-treats to snitch on you. I suggest you double whatever his current rate is.
Redoxx_fml 22
I ******* love animals
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Comments (130)
MattM95 16
Wow that sucks OP. On the bright side you had sex. But I guess you now know to be careful when you dispose your garbage.
whitetiger13131 26
"on the bright side, you had sex" *dies* that is probably the best thing I've heard all day!
MattM95 16
Well I'm sure that was the best thing that happened to OP all day.
abcdog123 16
Good dog
barleyguy 17
Happened to me once except the dog actually swallowed it whole, found it a few hours later
1dvs_bstd 41
"now human, let's talk about that other bitch"
banana_tree 10
Happened to my very straight-laced sister when I was a kid... Except there were five... Dog made a trail of them down the stairs and along the hallway!! I have never laughed so much at my mum's face?!
arre2006 19
invest in a trash bin for your room. preferably one with a lid. you crazy kids and your hormones
banana_tree 10
You have a dog? They love trash bins too!!! Lol ;-)
Stevieray20 13
Thats why u bury them at the bottom of the trash!
cryssycakesx3 23
edit. forgive me.
avidreader121 7
So much for mans best friend!
worldclassrager 41
Looks more like your fathers best friend...not yours...next time I think you better have the dog out
Sp1k3FML 14
What a bitch
weveallbeenthere 30
good dog. you need to properly dispose of those things.
cryssycakesx3 23
the dog or...?
weveallbeenthere 30
not the dog.