Intimacy: Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out.... - FML

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 141

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Same thing different taste

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 451

You deserved it 8 785

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 896

You deserved it 14 831

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 501

You deserved it 46 390

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 894

You deserved it 40 452

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 394

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 517

You deserved it 18 313

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 529

By badluckdrew - 01/05/2009 14:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 556

You deserved it 20 631

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 20:00

Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 753

By Arden - 03/02/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, my dog peed on my bed because my parents were presumably having sex and I was too scared to go downstairs and take her out because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 1 542

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

Monday 5 May 2014 23:20

I'm sure he was bribed with dog-treats to snitch on you. I suggest you double whatever his current rate is.

Redoxx_fml 22

Monday 5 May 2014 23:20

I ******* love animals

Comments

MattM95 16

Monday 5 May 2014 23:30

Wow that sucks OP. On the bright side you had sex. But I guess you now know to be careful when you dispose your garbage.

whitetiger13131 26

Tuesday 6 May 2014 6:21

"on the bright side, you had sex" *dies* that is probably the best thing I've heard all day!

MattM95 16

Tuesday 6 May 2014 8:19

Well I'm sure that was the best thing that happened to OP all day.

abcdog123 16

Monday 5 May 2014 23:32

Good dog

barleyguy 17

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:36

Happened to me once except the dog actually swallowed it whole, found it a few hours later

1dvs_bstd 41

Monday 5 May 2014 23:33

"now human, let's talk about that other bitch"

banana_tree 10

Monday 5 May 2014 23:33

Happened to my very straight-laced sister when I was a kid... Except there were five... Dog made a trail of them down the stairs and along the hallway!! I have never laughed so much at my mum's face?!

arre2006 19

Monday 5 May 2014 23:39

invest in a trash bin for your room. preferably one with a lid. you crazy kids and your hormones

banana_tree 10

Tuesday 6 May 2014 21:19

You have a dog? They love trash bins too!!! Lol ;-)

Stevieray20 13

Monday 5 May 2014 23:40

Thats why u bury them at the bottom of the trash!

cryssycakesx3 22

Tuesday 6 May 2014 3:35

edit. forgive me.

avidreader121 7

Monday 5 May 2014 23:43

So much for mans best friend!

worldclassrager 39

Monday 5 May 2014 23:53

Looks more like your fathers best friend...not yours...next time I think you better have the dog out

Sp1k3FML 14

Tuesday 6 May 2014 0:15

What a bitch

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 6 May 2014 0:34

good dog. you need to properly dispose of those things.

cryssycakesx3 22

Tuesday 6 May 2014 3:36

the dog or...?

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 6 May 2014 5:12

not the dog.

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I agree, your life sucks 14 677

You deserved it 2 262

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