Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, my dog peed on my bed because my parents were presumably having sex and I was too scared to go downstairs and take her out because of it. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I'm sure he was bribed with dog-treats to snitch on you. I suggest you double whatever his current rate is.
Redoxx_fml 22
I ******* love animals
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Comments (130)
PCJJacket 16
My parents were coming home from church! Now me and my girlfriend take turns disposing of our condoms. As for our dog Landy, he goes outside when she comes over!!
pjsr 33
Are you the OP?
PCJJacket 16
Yes I am. I just made my profile and wasn't able to validate it for some reason.
JayBunny 16
I highly doubt it. The op always says Author and the comment is always a blue tint. Even if they have no validated account. They can still validate it and it shows the op. Edit: Sorry I just looked at your profile and I was wrong I apologize.
Sophie_fml 29
PCJJacket is indeed the OP. He didn't have the badge, but that's fixed now.
JayBunny 16
Yes, I apologize I noticed after I checked the profile :)
clicker2 10
If you are living at home, you are probably too young to be having sex. If you are old enough to have sex, you probably shouldn't still be living at home.
kailarahne 19
Wellll....I would agree with you but I am 20 living with my boyfriend's family while we save for our own house. So that's not always true.
scottacj 4
At 18 technically you are old enough. A lot of people that are of age live with their parents due to A) Hard times/recession B) College C) they are 18 and just out of high school. You don't know everybody's situation, so it's kind of wrong to assume that they are either too young or need to move out.
Cplski 8
#67 and #68, did you not notice the word probably? It's like his way of saying "I'm not saying everyone" before you tell him!
JazNim17 18
Yes, but at 20, unless your parents are really strict or really religious, most people don't really get in trouble for sex. Mine would have really lit into me if I were having sex at say, 17, but since I'm 21 I don't have to hide it.
rachaelstevens 10
Oh.. Damn.. What a bitch..
kailarahne 19
YDI for not properly disposing of your condom...
ishchandan 14
Poor dog that had the condom in his or her mouth. YDI, Learn to dispose your things properly.
sassy2085 16
That happened to me except it was with my fiancée and my parents were visiting me at my house and it was the wrapper. I had intercepted it but my fiancée who didn't know what it was demanded to see it. I have never seen his face go so white. My parents were curious but they didn't get to see what it was. FYL
vlalam 24
Did u save the used condom as a souvenir or what? WTH, why didn't u dispose it?
False_Stupidity 42
Dogs can get into the darnedest places if they smell something interesting in there.
Petey801 5
You should've flushed it down the toilet after sleeping with your boyfriend!
Shanikitty 2
Your dog's like "heh im the only bitch you need!"
swedeNix 13
They should be proud u use protection