Miscellaneous: Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts...

By wishihadpockets - 28/01/2010 10:24 - United States

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 262

You deserved it 43 239

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By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 136

You deserved it 35 982

By ThatsNotRight - 31/01/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 901

You deserved it 31 055

By Kaboom - 21/04/2009 12:52 - Canada

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 660

You deserved it 19 663

By Poser - 20/12/2009 04:24 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 228

You deserved it 46 152

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 23:29 - Switzerland

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 506

You deserved it 7 812

By Anonymous - 30/05/2011 08:28 - Australia

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 227

You deserved it 11 886

By Jac - 17/01/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 770

You deserved it 32 823

With friends like these…

By Poor as fuck - 29/05/2019 22:07

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 326

By Tyler - 03/09/2012 09:37 - Australia - Killara

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 224

You deserved it 1 977

By Misky - 02/07/2012 02:51

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 590

You deserved it 28 456

BirdieC 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 16:08

That's kind of a weird thing to say..

iitsya3l 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 16:04

lol I can picture that perfectly how's your recovery?

Comments

j_agony 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 16:34

LMFAO!! GOD THAT IS HILARIOUS! I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR THAT! *high five*

Gneekman 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 16:46

FYL, indeed. Your "friend" needs a sense of humor, it seems.

flashback.miss 28

Thursday 28 January 2010 16:52

thats what you get for innuendo... deliberate or not XD

smedrick 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 16:54

YDI. Wear some real pants.

DynamicDave 11

Thursday 28 January 2010 17:15

LMFAO! Were you actually going to give him a cig or were you actually implying...? Either way, I lol'ed IRL. that's awesome!

fullmetal93 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 17:15

ha you kinda deserved it

lickmyjock 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 17:18

no ****

wordgirl 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 20:02

Ha. If that was a guy friend, it's more like maybe ****.

sarcdude 3

Thursday 28 January 2010 17:39

YDI for being a douche, literally.

VacuumNinja 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 19:38

He was literally a shower of water that is squirted into a woman's yummy-parts?

VacuumNinja 0

Friday 29 January 2010 6:53

Well? They're parts, and they're yummy. Therefore, yummy-parts. :D

sarcdude 3

Tuesday 2 February 2010 14:24

@45. Yes, yes he was. *nods*

MagicalPegicorn 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 17:40

Jesus man, horrible wording.

Elamdri 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 17:40

What kind of men's shorts don't have pockets? Stop wearing women's clothing and bad things won't happen to you.

myfriend_youfail 3

Thursday 28 January 2010 18:25

Most athletic shorts don't have pockets. Duh.

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I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 171

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 336

You deserved it 15 970

The Top

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 037

You deserved it 7 192

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, waterproof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 750

You deserved it 7 194

Today, my roommate's girlfriend came to visit for a couple of days, and we fucked behind his back. My roommate told me he just tested positive for syphilis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 3 731

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 328

You deserved it 2 455

Today, at school, I got in trouble for plagiarizing on a paper. The subject of said paper was where I see myself in ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 832

You deserved it 2 428

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 724

You deserved it 2 935

Same thing different taste

Get back here

With friends like these…

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