Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
n1rvanat1zed 0
Your dreams are saving on your electricity bill, how is this a FML? I understand the whole "not being able to get laid" thing, but look at the brightside!
perdix 31
At least your dream was related to sex. It would have been weird if you woke up covered in your own baby batter after dreaming about NASCAR, fishing or power tools.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
Aj_teh_cool 0
maybe you watch **** of girls masturbating? that would explain, you never seem the real deal.
H4rdstylefre4k 0
hahha i've experienced the same thing XD
stayinalive 0
dude please get laid...you can pay for these things now
Villa3L 0
Awe ... Hahahah... Oh Boyy
lifesuxxx1 0
hahahah man that is soo funny.. u can first try thinking of kissing ugly girls.. its easier than aiming for hot chicks even in ur dreams lol
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
thts so funny... my step mom didnt loose her vcard till 40 no worries broo
kylerzonca1 0
wow, sorry to say this but, that sux
Secret_Life_24 0
wow you poor sun-uf-ah-bitch
icpfandom 0
lmfao that's hilarious
ironmaneddie 0
Dude put the local cheap hooker's number on your speedial.. She doesnt need to be hot but just enough to keep u from dreaming of bacon