Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
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Top comments
skidary 0
don't have Hooker nails next time?
padlarf 14
No, you did not throw up blood. You threw up, and blood from your throat mixed with the vomit.
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Comments (78)
mr_miyagi 0
silly girl throwing up wont make you feel better...but heroin will!
auntjennjenn 0
damn how long are them nails?!
imacherrio 0
eww how long are your nails??
peppa11 0
u must off shoved it down real hard.
kayC7 0
WTF.. Are you growing nails or knives? :/ And you weren't throwing to blood, it's called bleeding. But still, FYL. ;(
Andrew117 0
ydi for trying to be sexy
dreamz24 0
that's just plain dumb
ihatejacob1 0
--this is the actual person who wrote the FML-- Let me clarify some stuff 1- my nails are naturally long, and yeah I should have cut them 2- my original FML explained it better, but apparently it was edited :/ 3- no I'm not bulimic, but as a matter of fact, I later discovered it wasnt a stomach virus, it was something I'd eaten, so in fact, I felt much better after I vomited 4- Yeah, the blood mixed with the bile, but it wasn't lie gushing.... as I said *edited* sooo.... yeah. Haterzzzzz >:)
littlebigperson 0
OUCH fyl and ydi cuz touching ur throat with long sharp nails isn't smart even with cut nails!
magenLOVESyou 0
someone has smarticle particles... NOT!:)