Animals: Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying...

By Anonymous - 12/05/2011 04:41

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 012

You deserved it 27 762

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Same thing different taste

By allykat - 03/12/2014 00:56 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 305

You deserved it 5 708

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 943

You deserved it 6 305

By cat co-parent - 03/01/2015 00:11 - Australia

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 603

You deserved it 2 748

By catastrophy - 19/11/2016 09:20

Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 841

You deserved it 1 333

By crazy cat lady - 03/11/2016 19:31 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 514

You deserved it 872

By Anonymous - 14/08/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 505

You deserved it 3 992

By whymomwhy - 11/07/2015 17:20 - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 341

You deserved it 2 880

By pretty princess - 01/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 814

You deserved it 4 947

Baby's high

By Anonymous - 08/01/2021 17:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 140

By izu - 16/09/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 203

You deserved it 2 743

HeavyMetalViking 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:07

Oh, I love watching one sided conversations. "I think you're addicted to the weed" "......" "Oh yeah?!" "......" "Say something, you ******* pussy!"

x_Cupcakes 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:06

So, what did your cat say?

Comments

dezinspaaace 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:18

your cat must be so proud. but seriously op, ydi so get a life.

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:20

Catnip is just a gateway herb.

EvilPotato 14

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:25

the cat says "**** off, bitch."

mrahhhhh 21

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:29

At least being a crazy cat person and not going out means you won't spread your genes.

Tantalum 1

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:31

You have to stop talking to your own pussy.

SexyGamerNerd110 8

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:39

...you really had a conversation with your cat? i'm sorry, OP.. but I think it's time to start going outside again..

usmcdvil 4

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:52

Stop supplying the cat maybe??

SeasonedLemur 5

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:53

Give your cat a break op atleast he's stopped snorting meow meow now it's ilegal...

bossybella 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:59

lol

Djzom13 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 13:01

this is why I have dogs

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The Top

Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 1 334

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I learned that the college I'm going to in the fall has been tampering with their ratings on the internet and actually only has a 5% graduation rate. Everything's already been paid for and I can't transfer elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 997

You deserved it 562

Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 172

You deserved it 2 257

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he had a thigh fetish, I thought it was cute, until I realised our sex life would mostly be him fawning all over my legs, then dry humping my knees. We’ve been together 3 months and I can count the number of actual shags I’ve had on one hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 257

Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 469

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming her, because the camera was moving and definitely not on a tripod. I know I never recorded a video of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 250

You deserved it 481

Today, some jackass decided that using the back of my car to slow down was easier than using his brakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 908

You deserved it 1 353

Same thing different taste

Baby's high

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