Anonymous
Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
allykat
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Brampton, Canada
I'll give you 30 quid for one clarky cat
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Username
United States
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
cat co-parent
Australia
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML
catastrophy
Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
crazy cat lady
Fredericton, Canada
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
whymomwhy
Salem, United States
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
pretty princess
United States
Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML
Anonymous
Zittau, Germany
Baby's high
Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML
izu
United States
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Top comments
HeavyMetalViking 0
Oh, I love watching one sided conversations. "I think you're addicted to the weed" "......" "Oh yeah?!" "......" "Say something, you ******* pussy!"
x_Cupcakes 0
So, what did your cat say?
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Comments (84)
babybatman 0
you know your cool when... so what all did your cat have to say?
waterboy14 7
I don't think cats serve their own cat food... your the one making it fat....
fox333 0
ummm catnip is like crack to cats and can cause health problems!
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Only if you give it to them in gratuitous amounts.
Kesha_Mei_Ash 0
Your cat's ears probably went back and then she just got up and left. (NOT like I would know or anything :)
XxbrokeNCYDExX 6
**** your cats life
Glassmaster 0
You're not my mom are you? She does that all the time. Except she doesn't talk about catnip. She talks about...nothing that I can understand. It all sounds like childish gibberish.
TangoLuvr 1
my cat is so addicted that when you rattle the drawer, he comes running from anywhere in the house.
livyyyy 0
niiiiccee when I talk to my cat she hisses at me an runs away. love right?
someone3225 2
Cat does what cat wants... If cat wants catnip, cat will get catnip!!!
loser4life831 0
you do