Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
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Top comments
lemoncows 2
dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit!
Valea_fml 9
Eww! Disgusting. FYL.
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Comments (186)
Quatermain 0
Wow that was so sick.
jesskc1 0
ewww dats nasty...
alexavb15 4
Wtf Thats So Disgusting! How Did It Even Get There,? Fyl!
lizliz23 0
eweeeeeee :p
IAmBlacklight 0
That's ******* disgusting! I literally just threw up.
dreamerman 0
Heh - could be worse. Could be MUCH worse. I got a ladybird in a glass of water by my bed a few months ago and accidentally drank it, spluttered and spat just like you. Sounds innocent, yes? Unfortunately they have a strong chemical defense and I now have first-hand experience of it. I am telling you, you do not know what a bad taste IS until you have tried ladybird! Picture rancid peanuts on steroids with just a dash of industrial chemicals and raw metal. Gawd – if only it had been a cockroach! I was tasting that thing for over a day . . .
babygirl1023 5
ewwwie!!
blazeit420 0
yucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fylbt!!!!!!
TaylorKunishi 0
ewww I would puke fyl
deathtrap 0
clean ur house for gods sake!!! ydi
eNARV1 0
Mmmm sounds delicious!