Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I had to catch a bus to work, as my car had to be taken in yesterday. The bad drivers always upset my stomach with their instant stop/start driving style. I felt a burp coming on, but it turned out to be projectile vomit that filled my mask right up and poured down my shirt and pants. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML
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Top comments
lat1404 16
Turn around and get it washed again. It's worth £10.
silvercamaro 22
I guess you haven't read that many FML's, when I think of the worst ones they usually have to do with physical or emotional pain, vomit can be cleaned off.
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Comments (90)
sanecatlady 13
Oh god this has just made my emetophobia go up about 30%!
ohhhsnapple 14
My thoughts exactly!! This would be one of my worst nightmares.
Ihavegas 22
I know how you feel op, was a cab driver for 4 years. I cleaned my car daily. Once I had to hire a car out for work, 3 passengers had been sick in the car. one of them puked up twice. it's ok on the outside of the car because you can wash it off easily. it's worse inside because of the cost of the valet and also time off work. Not to mention the smell?!!
Bano360 25
In Ireland they force you to pay extra if you get sick. 50-100 euro extra.
BellaBear90 27
They do the same in the uk, £80 in the area I live. If it's a silent spew and they don't notice though then they're stuck doing it, or paying for it, themselves. which is a bit shit.
Garrett2818 21
Yummy now I'm hungry haha
the_zero_article 15
????? ...????????
extinct_dodo 18
WTF is wrong with you? !!!!!!!! yuck
Garrett2818 21
" don't worry guys that totally wasn't a joke" (sarcasm)
briang959 47
Take your car back to the car wash and tell them they missed a spot. :)
PassiveAggresive 12
Now this is how you FML!
Shadowbay 18
I swear something bad always happens after you wash your car... The universe says "Haha!! A clean surface No More!!" unfortunately you got one of the worst things spewed at you :/
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think lava or corrosive acid would be worse. :) (I'm kidding)
foxwasalamb 24
at least you know the chances of this ever happening again are slim! i hope...
Toriahh 21
At least it comes off. I once washed my car and someone hit it 15 minutes later. Now I hate washing my car
mybubbles2000 13
That's so nasty. So sorry OP.
kitkatvan 5
How much is that in American dollars?
heimdallr 14
About $16-17 at the time of this comment.
kitkatvan 5
Thank you