Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
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Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
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Comments (169)
camera123 0
In Soviet Russia, the couch poops on your child!
KennKenn 0
I have a feeling if you spank him he'd call child services.
DomoLaDii 8
right lmao
newlove_fml 0
And then what? He'll get put in to a home where he will ACTUALLY be disciplined? Huh, not such a bad idea. However, the kid would hate it.
winnn_fml 0
That's your first child I can tell
turkeyburger 0
honestly..beat his ass. if you dont...i hope you enjoy the next 2 decades of bailing him out of jail at 3am
macourie 0
"... i then proceeded to wash his mouth with soap, rub his nose in his shit, and beat his ass with an old pingpong paddle..."
adenisa269 3
oh man.....if I had done something like that I would have ate soap and probably still wouldn't be able to sit down
SAgirl 24
Someone needs to learn how to discipline they're child.
DarkHelmet 10
Sounds like u haven't had belt to ass training. How do I know this you ask.... Well #1 the kid cussed you out and #2 he shitted on the couch in protest. My Dad/Mom wouldve whipped me tell their arm fell off if I cussed them out!! I wouldn't even dare fathom crapping on the furniture for fear of death by whopping!
Ravclye 0
Sounds like my mother. She never hit, but that woman can yell. I probably would had crapped my pants at the thought of daring to defy my mother in such a way. But I never knew curse words when I was little. If she told me a word was"bad" and to not say it again or I'd get in trouble, I wouldn't say the word again.
DeeG12 0
Sound like you need to get your kid under control.
michi23 0
It's ur fault for raising your son that way, he's four he shouldn't be doing those things.