Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I mistakenly sent a voice message to my boss while imitating him in a comical way. The message contained my spot-on impression, complete with exaggerated jargon and phrases he frequently uses. I didn't realize it until I received a reply saying, "LOL, nailed it!" FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
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Top comments
Beansforbill 14
The odds of him impersonating Sylvester the cat are much lower than him having a speech impediment ..
DenBriZel 31
FYL for the mixup OP but next time id be a bit more careful on how you ask about it.
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Comments (83)
yellowaholic 25
Oh bud, never talk to your boss like they are your peer unless you personally know them.
whodat32 4
Hahahahahahahahahaah xD YDI
142_cats 13
Don't just assume he's impersonating some fictional character because the odds of that are much lower than him having a speech impediment. It was an honest mistake but just don't do that OP because you could bring back memories of bullying and seriously hurt his feelings.
brandoneyez1 25
Was the foot yummy?
MrRazzle 4
Congratulations, you are now, in his eyes, Tweety Bird. He's gonna getcha.
doglover100 29
You shouldn't assume these things.
JMichael 26
Be careful when you say things OP, it may come back and bite you in the ass.
middlenamefrank 8
Why in the world would you assume your new boss was impersonating Sylvester? People DO have speech impediments, you know.
trueblue170 13
You know what they say: when you "assume", you make an ASS of U and ME.
Larsh 4
You do mean your new ex-boss right?