Intimacy: Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out...

By jo1429 - 31/10/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 555

You deserved it 5 359

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Same thing different taste

By blonde - 29/09/2010 07:08 - Australia

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 911

You deserved it 6 559

By badtiming - 15/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 087

You deserved it 3 290

Pile up

By neverforgetyourphone - 05/03/2015 01:18 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 367

You deserved it 2 922

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 01:44 - United States - Stroudsburg

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 392

You deserved it 27 900

By UnderConstruction - 04/05/2012 14:34 - Canada - Pickering

Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 419

You deserved it 4 278

Stuck

By Tabeling101 - 12/12/2016 01:51

Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 612

You deserved it 1 460

By merp. - 02/02/2013 06:57 - United States - Wausau

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 699

You deserved it 6 093

Adding insult to injury

By Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 414

You deserved it 4 070

By Flipside - 02/05/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 704

You deserved it 6 449

Freakout

By meee - 13/01/2010 00:55 - United States

Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 530

You deserved it 23 518

BookBeast 0

Monday 1 November 2010 0:13

Bow chicka bow-bow....

Eaglestrike117 29

Monday 1 November 2010 0:11

Well, did you?

Comments

Jhtaylor 0

Monday 1 November 2010 0:49

#8 I agree!

Charlotteeexx 0

Monday 1 November 2010 0:54

gotta love the unexpected creepy guys :')

lalagirl912 0

Monday 1 November 2010 4:56

by any chance is the girl on the right name; samantha...? O.o send me a message if so..

perdix 29

Monday 1 November 2010 1:02

Bullshit! We all know those are your everyday handcuffs for dirty, kinky sex, you perverted freak. Er, what's your number?

Curse2TheMax 1

Monday 1 November 2010 1:06

LMFAO

zanguard 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 5:11

love this comment

georggx 3

Monday 1 November 2010 1:07

aha. rawr!

Benny_Lava 6

Monday 1 November 2010 1:10

Say yes, handcuff him to a bed, and steal his wallet.

wwerulez14 6

Monday 1 November 2010 1:53

^ This.

an_villian 0

Monday 1 November 2010 3:06

that's illegal you know

TheDrifter 23

Monday 1 November 2010 3:27

He's a truck driver. Likely no cash and maxed out credit cards plus a bounced alimony check.

JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0

Monday 1 November 2010 5:24

Hey hey, I'll have you know my dad is a truck driver! And he makes $$$, thank you very much.

darkblitz_fml 0

Monday 1 November 2010 8:16

he makes THREE WHOLE DOLLARS?!?!? Insane....

intothecrypt 3

Friday 19 August 2011 16:50

20 would make for a very successful prostitute.

EyeGoo 0

Monday 1 November 2010 1:22

Be grateful someone wants to bang you.

stronghand0331 17

Monday 1 November 2010 2:54

Desperate much?? Being banged by a creepy tow truck man is not a way to pleasure.

hidingoutt7 0

Monday 1 November 2010 1:30

free towing! think about it lol

Lennsik 4

Monday 1 November 2010 1:55

"Sure, how about you help by bending over so I can shove my foot up your ass."

stronghand0331 17

Monday 1 November 2010 2:03

He's far too kinky and would throughly enjoy that. Think ahead.

xxgallardolp560 5

Monday 1 November 2010 2:12

Lol 99, you really made my day with that one. 

Selena_is_back 7

Monday 1 November 2010 2:21

dude, our latest commenter is 30...

swatay27 0

Monday 1 November 2010 2:29

wow

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I agree, your life sucks 41 830

You deserved it 4 169

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I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 120