Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I almost got attacked by a dog. The dog that occupies the same house as I do. The reason? He didn't recognize me because - get this - I was wearing a beanie. A hat made me unrecognizable to my dog. FML
Today, I was shopping when I got charged at by a really big dog, causing me to panic and fall. The store won’t do anything because the cunt of an owner lied and said it’s her “service dog.” FML
Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
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Top comments
lyndifluff 6
the poodle doesn't bother me. but I would like to know why your dog thought you were a burglar. lol
shannonreneee 11
I am confused at why it's so hard to explain that your dog attacked you. Owning a poodle, fair enough though.
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Comments (161)
TraceCase_ 19
Well, congrats OP, you just told "everyone" about both. Anyone who knows you well enough to matter probably already knows you own a poodle so YDI for subjecting yourself to this crowd's ridicule.
puckman 0
just come out of the closet. that would explain everything.
SchiTzenGiglez 0
Maybe this is just OPs way to tell the world, yeah I'm a man that owns a poodle, what of it bitchez?
mango260 9
awes there is nothing wrong with having a poodle! :D
Nychthemeron 2
56, they're still getting girls, according to you. OP may have the poodle for that very reason, though if he were epileptic, diabetic, or potentially suffering from cancer, that "floof" is more likely to save him from an attack/delayed diagnosis than your "manly" dog
braveblade74 0
Man up and tell 'em, what're they gonna do?
skyeyez9 25
Large poodles, if used for their original purpose are cool animals. If I remember correctly, They are water retreiver dogs and used to get the dead goose or duck you shot. Their coat gets heavy when wet, so owners cut all the non essential fur off them. They kept the hair on their chest to keep the lungs and internal organs there warm. The two puffs on their back to cover the kidneys. Most poodle hair cuts are just for show nowadays, but go back to their retreiver roots.
Dogbite1313 5
Your completely correct about the back ground of the dog.
cptmorgan15 2
You love going in the back door, don't you? That explains the poodle.
kss_ga_champ5408 1
haha 90 you beat me to it. I was just about to call the OP a homosexual.
MissBunny25 0
90 I don't usually do this, but.... you, sir, have accomplished a win in my book.
NaoPudding 8
No, what's worse is that you (a 25 year old man) got attacked by a little poodle. That is funny.
missy1228 2
poodles r some mean mofo's