Transportation: Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family... - FML

By dumbbus - United Kingdom - Stockton-on-tees

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

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Taking stock

Our house, in the middle of our street

A teenage dream's so hard to beat…

By Nish - United States - Kent

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

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By justhelpful - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

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By BoogieCandy. - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

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By hatemyluck - United States - Bronx

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

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By Flavorite - United States

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

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By michellemoyah - United States

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

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By Trey Wipperfurth-Eisner

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

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By teegtwo - United States

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

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By Neednewfriends - Australia

Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML

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By -_- - United States - Lahaina

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

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By Andrew Cab - 6/4/2021 13:00 - United Kingdom

Relief

Today, our 9-year-old daughter was removed from our home and placed into a home for children too violent to function in a family setting. I can't stop crying but my wife hasn't been this happy in years. She was actually smiling as our daughter was restrained and forced out the front door. FML

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By Swatted - United States - Sparks

Today, a model I've been working on for an art competition was declined. They thought I was being insensitive and "rudely glorifying 9/11". My model was about the ending scene of King Kong. I spent twenty hours on that model. FML

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By lonelyandbored - United States

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

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By BenFiggy - United States - Brick

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

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By nitrok

Today, I started driving with Lyft to fill the time until my new job starts next month. On my very first fare, my car died. FML

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By hellosir - United States

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

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By bad boss

Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML

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By Sad_Happy_Gorl - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only staying with me because I’m getting him a signed poster for Christmas. FML

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By James4929 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

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By .... - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 11:09

The old switcheroo

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

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By EvilMother - United States - Hinsdale

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

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By hairless - Canada

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

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By Gracie-Ann - United States - Portland

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

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By no life to fuck :/ - United States - Berkeley

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I was one point away from passing a state science exam. FML

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By krizleykrislo - United States

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

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By scaredofhedges - United States - San Diego

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Atlanta

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Amelia

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

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By Wtffmlfs

Modern Family

Today, I dawned on me that my step-dad, who cheated on and is now divorcing my mom, is my favorite family member. FML

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By FML - United Kingdom

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. 20 minutes into the job, I was told 'Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go.' Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

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By RIPcareer - United States - Ellicott City

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

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By Zak - United States

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

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By Professional_Ars

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

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Top comments

By pubeboy | 16

#6250353 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:12

Explain to the bus driver what happened. How expensive can a bus ticket be, anyways?

By OhWhoCares | 42

#6250389 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:49

How come you didn't tape it back together? ....Well I guess if the other half of your ticket was still stuck in the machine taping it would not be possible but surely you could've called the company for a replacement ticket.

COMMENTS

By 19990231 | 29

#6250351 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:10

Can your parents not help?

Reply

ThatDamHuntress | 20

#6250363 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:17

If she's 200 Miles from them, what do you think?

Reply

amzee96 | 18

#6250378 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:35

OP stated they were visiting and is now 200 miles from home, they would be with their family.

Reply

Markovski | 18

#6250385 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:41

But she's stuck at the parent's place... she can't go back to her place.

By er0401 | 13

#6250352 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:11

Hmmm.. that's a tough one

By pubeboy | 16

#6250353 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:12

Explain to the bus driver what happened. How expensive can a bus ticket be, anyways?

Reply

bemined | 11

#6250372 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:24

200 miles away could cost around 30 dollars? Could mean a lot to some people.

Reply

EmoKami | 21

#6250410 - Thursday 2 April 2015 7:50

Depending where in the UK they're going between it could cost $25-65 one way. Which isn't really cheap for most people I know. Considering here in Canada we pay $200~ one way for about 500mi on a bus...they got it cheap...

By beararm | 11

#6250357 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:12

guess u moving back with the fam

By KVYLV | 16

#6250359 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:13

Do they not do digital tickets anymore?

By momac86 | 17

#6250364 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:19

Should've insisted on a replacement

By devildog562 | 33

#6250365 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:19

Find a bat and live it up. Wet Wednesday should be in full effect!

By bemined | 11

#6250366 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:20

Tough situation. Next time(hopefully no) you should insist on getting a new one.

By Sneado | 20

#6250367 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:22

That genuinely sucks OP. Best of luck.

By Kazze | 31

#6250368 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:23

I wonder if the bus driver was playing a sick April Fools joke on you..