Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Reminds me of the idiot who staged his own kidnapping to go out drinking with friends.
Zebediabolical 45
Oh those canny kidnappers. Forcing the hostage to write his own note!
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Comments (85)
markusmay16 10
they made him right it. duh lol
kinky44 28
*Write, duh
Larry01_fml 19
Maybe he was forced to write it? You never know!!
chris4u2nv5 19
Take it as a sign and run while you can.
Shepardspie71 8
Sounds like he needs as kick in the balls
cherokii_Squa 5
ha! hilarious... yet so sad. What are u going to do about that, hunny?!
MidnaLink 35
Cheap cowardly bastard!
UsernameTaken14 18
Quite the creative way to tell you isn't it?
AnmolArora 15
Dats just a way to tell u he is not interestd in marrying u..wich he shud hv said in personal to u..dats poor op:-
ahippienamedrae 10
I think you're missing some letters there.
ninety 25
Would including ten more letters in your statement have killed you?
fullalove 23
Your grammar is poor
tj4234 36
Wait a minute... your husband? Don't they mean your fiancé or are you already married?
fullalove 23
How would OP already be married if the wedding is tomorrow?
tj4234 36
My comment wasn't well written. I was trying to make a pun out of polygamy.
outoftown 27
Aha, that's it! OP's already married and about to commit bigamy tomorrow.
yerawizardlizzy 27
They could have had a reason to get their marriage certificate first and have a ceremony later. My friend was married several months before her ceremony because her husband is in the Air Force. Maybe that's the case and he doesn't want to waste the time and money on the ceremony. Not saying it was okay to wait until the last minute.
luckyone365 7
You're an idiot. He isn't your husband if he hasn't married you yet .