Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Reminds me of the idiot who staged his own kidnapping to go out drinking with friends.
Zebediabolical 45
Oh those canny kidnappers. Forcing the hostage to write his own note!
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Comments (85)
jmayer12 14
You're jumping the gun. You mean your fiancé
asherm 15
Even if just a joke, this is not the time to do that to a nervous bride to be.... Or maybe not to be. Sorry OP
emeraldmaz 9
You all realise that the OP wasn't the one who called him her husband, right? It's what was written in the note. At least, that's how it seems upon reading the FML. Hopefully, it's just a joke (or a tradition sort of thing - for example, Welsh tradition is that the bride is kidnapped by her family and the Groom and his groomsmen have to fight to get her back). All the best, OP!
Dinoporeon 9
You should have a deep conversation about life with him. Then give him a mug, and say thank you for listening.
rec_chem 22
Better postpone it. He's clearly not ready.
emeraldmaz 9
You all realise that the OP wasn't the one who called him her husband, right? It's what was written in the note. At least, that's how it seems upon reading the FML. Hopefully, it's just a joke (or a tradition sort of thing - for example, Welsh tradition is that the bride is kidnapped by her family and the Groom and his groomsmen have to fight to get her back). All the best, OP!
weedandfood 8
I'd kick him in da ballz
an3ph 20
Follow up PLEASE!
commandercolbert 6
u sure know how to pick em..
jewann123 10
haha cold feet much?