Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
Today, I got home from my tour of duty. The first thing my teen daughter said to me was could she have some money, because mom won’t give her anymore since she got caught using her allowance to buy weed. Not even a "Hello" or tears of joy to see me, just a demand for drug money. FML
Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML
Today, my 18 year-old daughter comes home, telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had iCarly Happy Meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML
Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML
Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML
Today, while going through my daughter’s room, I found a pair of pants with the security tag still attached. My daughter is a thief. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
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Top comments
ab290 10
I'm assuming you are not her drug dealer?
Tannasgh 22
It could have been worse, she coulda paid him with "favors"
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Comments (70)
gracehi 33
Stop telling OP there is no "bright side." I'm pretty sure she's figured that out by now and you sound like a broken record.
trucker2 33
I'm guess the bright side looks a lot like an orange jumpsuit-jewelry included
creditless 14
aww... I bet more drug dealers wish they had such thoughtful customers
man_in_black08 28
Thts why you vote for trump and build the damn wall and make America great again lol
ThrottleJockey 36
OK always bake something sweet for my drug dealer during the holidays but I'm usually so baked myself that I usually end up eating it before I can give it to him.
cecedarling 21
You deserve it solely on the fact that you thought there was a bright side.
Bearsmomma 30
OP didn't "think there was a bright side", but was hoping to find one. I can understand hoping to find some possible explanation other than your child is just being bad to be bad.
cuz803 46
Must be an awesome drug dealer!
crane8479 8
wow
PhoenixChick 26
That's a whole new area of etiquette. Are flowers an appropriate drug dealer gift? Or are those only for drug anniversaries, or for when you try a new variety of meth?
DanaeZee 18
In which world would "stealing for mom" be a bright side? It would be horrible if my kid thought she had to steal a present for me. (I also think it's even worse she’s taking drugs and feel sorry for both of you-- but you thought about this "bright side" before you encountered her drug addiction which I think is weird.) I hope you can help her out of the addiction, OP, and wish you strength!