Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML
Today, I found out that my overweight daughter’s teacher starved her during a pizza party. She made her wait an hour until the entire class got a slice and their seconds. When it was her turn, there was only one tiny slice. According to her, she, “looks like she hasn’t missed a meal, she’ll be alright.” FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
that's gross what's wrong her cat food is the thing now
DocBastard 40
No, no, they misheard her. She said "dog, fool". Though I'm not sure that's any better...
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Comments (34)
Rainbow35 6
I'm assuming she was either being stupid, or she'd randomly eaten dog food when OP wasn't looking... I'm sure nobody *actually* feeds their kids dog food, right?
NJXD 0
*Bill Cosby voice* kids say the darndest things
NJXD 0
*Bill Cosby voice* kids say the darndest things
meeba 2
this isnt an FML retard, it was your choice
CodingSquirrel 3
The first day of kindergarten, my cousin's teacher told the parents that she won't believe everything the kids say if they don't believe everything the kids say about her. Wise teacher.
rawrxchuck 0
do you not feed her, to the point where she has to eat dog food?!
Inspired22 11
It's ridiculous that they called you with concern about that. I work for a babysitting service, so I have babysat for tons of families, and sooooooo many little kids eat dog food to be funny. And they love to announce it, because it shocks everyone and gets them attention. It is not a sign of neglect, it's a sign of a kid being a kid!
athena3100 9
Totaly agreed. I live in Colorado too! but Colorado Springs...
Inspired22 11
It's beautiful there!
crazycat123 0
definitely not an FML. kids do weird shit.
purplesquishy 3
fake- if schools called parents with all the random stuff kids said theyd be there all day. And if they genuinely thought the kid was being fed dog food they'd be onto social work. So no.
autumn88_fml_fml 0
hahahaha poor OP. maybe learn to cook so she doesn't refer to your meals as dog food.