Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML
Today, I found out that my overweight daughter’s teacher starved her during a pizza party. She made her wait an hour until the entire class got a slice and their seconds. When it was her turn, there was only one tiny slice. According to her, she, “looks like she hasn’t missed a meal, she’ll be alright.” FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
that's gross what's wrong her cat food is the thing now
DocBastard 40
No, no, they misheard her. She said "dog, fool". Though I'm not sure that's any better...
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Comments (34)
Cheekylozza 3
LOL, i wonder what dog food tastes like.
kingtz 6
Just ask OP's daughter...
bayli 12
Not very good. No matter how delicious it smells.
dirtyblond 4
its some pretty intense stuff,trust me,i should know..since of course i've eaten some before..
woofis 0
it's dry, bland, and leaves an unpleasant odor in your mouth.
lizzy8696 0
nasty shit my frend dared me to eat it , I threw up never take that dare
catatonicsleep 17
Did you make some kind of stew that looked like dog food?
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
Lol win ^
Dez31396 0
why did u feed her dog food?
TheFuckerofShit 16
Hot dogs.
TheFuckerofShit 16
Ignore my previous comment.
BringYourOwnBomb 0
That's disgusting! hope she wasn't telling the truth. If she was the YDI.
smokindagoo 0
alpo from the can. atleaset your value time dog foods first ingredient is corn or some sort then liver by product. livers good for you right??? u just need to lay of the dog food yourself and feed the kid some snack packs and salami sandwiches . get of the smack
newjerseyguy 0
now that will teach you notnto be a cheap bastard, now go take her out to a nice restaraunt and get her a nice steak dinner for being a shitty parent.
Aquaricorn 0
This reminds me slightly of a certain Family Guy episode.
MusicXisXii 0
any and everything can remind you of a Family Guy episode THESE days.
domosumo 0
FYL for being busted feeding your daughter dog food.