Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I got reached out to by an old flame who, in her words, “wants to fuck the life out of me again.” We’re both engaged to new people and have kids. The hardest part? She looks even better now than ever, and I’m a fat hairy slob. FML
Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML
Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML
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Top comments
nl98 0
Don't take her back?
saucey12 1
please tell me you changed your number or put a block....
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Comments (122)
ipwnallmen 10
lol come on man!
oldwiseguy 0
Arent you a lucky guy!!
Ireplywith_memes 0
Rule 34: There's a **** for that,
niadanac1 3
All fat people can be come thin, just hand her an ulitimatum. lose the chub and give the kids to the loving father. All could be well in lollipop land!
Kukironosuke 16
no, just no, a woman like that isnt fixed by losing weight and the kids, she will forever be a ho, she deserves her crappy life, and no kid deserves to be removed from their mom unless the mom is unfit(the dad is probably worse, she choose an asshole and let him ruin her life), and now she wants the good responsible guy, well fk her, make her be a single mom and pay for choosing her life
iplaywow 0
^ this sums up my thoughts perfectly
macaaroni 0
did you ask if she learned her lesson yet?
TomasT 0
That's usually what happen to women... More of a FHL than FYL.... You can always choose someone else, she is stuck with her.
DutchCourage 0
Kids: check, weight: check, debt: check. Sounds like a winning proposition to me!
fretforyerlatte 0
this is not an FML. it's a win for you, because you could have been the one stuck with her fat, broke ass with two wild children. i really don't see the problem here for you.
lo1337a 1
$25 in debt is pretty good, all things considering ;)
FlagrantNE0 0
$25.000 is European for $25,000
turdburgers 0
That doesn't mean anything. Besides, he wrote 25.000 with three 0's, and just twenty-five dollars alone wouldn't be enough to bother mentioning in the fml.
teiso_fml 0
There's no rule that says you have to TAKE her back!