Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I got reached out to by an old flame who, in her words, “wants to fuck the life out of me again.” We’re both engaged to new people and have kids. The hardest part? She looks even better now than ever, and I’m a fat hairy slob. FML
Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML
Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML
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Top comments
nl98 0
Don't take her back?
saucey12 1
please tell me you changed your number or put a block....
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Comments (122)
wtsc 0
#15 - new fag
darry107 0
#111 it's i ain't sayin she's a golddigger, but she ain't messin wit no broke nigga. btw it's ok if I say nigga cuz I'm black lol
xdrumkid101x 0
This isn't an FML. You don't have to take her back just because you loved her 8 years ago.
ricosan 0
Karma's a bitch, ain't it. FHL! Enjoy the fact that you dodged that bullet, brother.
crankyinthemorn 0
Uuummm...How is this a FML?
BurnIt2TheGround 0
dude this would so make my day! be like "bitch i don't need your fatass" then hang up and go to a party and get laid Karma's a bitch
t2nerb 0
prolly just a gold digger hahahaahahaha
account2 0
britney spears? jk jk
valmont_fml 0
Reminds me of a Stan Rogers song called something like "Oh no, not I." It's about a man who has been courting a woman, and he asks her to marry her. Her response to him is "Oh no, not I." This happens several times until he just gives up. She then goes and gets pregnant from some other man, and comes back to the man, begging him to marry her, and he says the same thing back to her. It ends with him telling her how she'll have to wander about, surviving off of what charity she can get. The last line of his speech is "And It's when that you get tired you can sit you down to cry, and think on all the times when you said "Oh no, not I". Not exactly considered moral behavior in these days, but it's got something to it.
nichele 0
yeah that's really messed up the smart thing to do would be to not take her back