Health: Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed...

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 040

You deserved it 5 543

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 16:51 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 13 334

By applegreen - 16/02/2017 15:00 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 588

You deserved it 509

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 224

You deserved it 6 680

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 03:20 - United States

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 042

You deserved it 12 509

Natural history

By latino - 11/11/2010 11:30 - United States

Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 547

You deserved it 43 715

Ethics in medecine

By Savannah - 07/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 864

You deserved it 595

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 224

By Jesse - 10/05/2012 21:22 - United States - Bothell

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 068

You deserved it 2 419

**** McGee

By BoobiePain - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saint John

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 3 080

By Lara - 08/01/2016 11:28 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 414

You deserved it 8 357

torbey 23

Wednesday 8 May 2013 12:00

Has nobody ever touched your boobs before?

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 8 May 2013 12:00

You were probably in a tit of laughter by the end of it! I know I probooby shouldn't, but I found this hilarious, OP. I mean, it's better than feeling a little nip, right?

Comments

oj101 33

Wednesday 8 May 2013 11:57

That must be em-breast-ing for you

Laurenluvz 11

Wednesday 8 May 2013 12:14

I honestly don't see how em-breast-ing is close to embarrassing..

adam3650 12

Wednesday 8 May 2013 13:27

Looks like you made a right boob there son.

oj101 33

Wednesday 8 May 2013 14:35

Ah who am I kidding? I'm no Pleonasm when it comes to puns. Just let me hide away in embarrassment whilst I clutch onto the last shreds of my dignity. At least you guys understood my pun, whether it was good or not.

SoulAmeliorate 16

Wednesday 8 May 2013 14:44

23 - don't ya mean, hide away in em-breast-ment?

bluehero 17

Wednesday 8 May 2013 16:12

I didn't even understand the comment until someone else said it lol

cieloalicia 16

Wednesday 8 May 2013 16:34

Embare-breasting?

flockz 19

Wednesday 8 May 2013 17:21

em-nipple-ing. yep that doesn't work at all.

AngelSpit 18

Wednesday 8 May 2013 19:11

embarr-breast-ed Ha! Got it

groovycrazyjoe 18

Wednesday 8 May 2013 22:12

I thought he meant impressive lol

LexSwift 17

Friday 10 May 2013 0:08

That's the best you could do? When I read this FML, the word "titillating" came to mind. Haha

buckstop1 37

Wednesday 19 August 2015 4:59

The key to word play is to always be sure that the altered version has the same amount of syllables as the original word, or else it doesn't sound right You're welcome

torbey 23

Wednesday 8 May 2013 12:00

Has nobody ever touched your boobs before?

Dracoboxer357 35

Wednesday 8 May 2013 15:11

24- I'm not sure if I should send you "happy-fondling-thoughts", or count your Don Juan Kitty as an "honourary groper" to make up for it. ;P

xcam1995 6

Wednesday 8 May 2013 22:09

Of course not, she must be a nun.

vettle 6

Thursday 9 May 2013 7:13

Maybe she's a responsible young teen? Does everyone have to have their boobs touched by the time they are 13?

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 8 May 2013 12:00

You were probably in a tit of laughter by the end of it! I know I probooby shouldn't, but I found this hilarious, OP. I mean, it's better than feeling a little nip, right?

adam3650 12

Wednesday 8 May 2013 13:28

Well you've got the make the breast of the situation, haven't you?

AngelSpit 18

Wednesday 8 May 2013 19:14

Don't be a boob about tit just put on your braveBreast face and grope with the flow it will be over in a nipple while

groovycrazyjoe 18

Wednesday 8 May 2013 22:14

lol you didn't have to spoil the milk for her ;-)

adam3650 12

Wednesday 8 May 2013 22:23

I think it's time to these jokes in the bud.

sadistmonkey 19

Thursday 9 May 2013 3:58

Naw, you gotta milk it for all it's worth.

AngelSpit 18

Thursday 9 May 2013 17:26

Why do you assume I had to try to come up with it?

Sinamoi 18

Wednesday 8 May 2013 12:01

That's a rather interesting place to be ticklish, but then again I'm a guy so I wouldn't know; my chesticles aren't ticklish.

perdix 29

Wednesday 8 May 2013 12:25

#4, it really doesn't have anything to do with gender. My nipples are the most ticklish of anyone I know, and everybody else I have tested has been female. Good thing I don't have to go for the exams.