Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
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Top comments
kerrygirl 13
well in all fairness that is something you should know about your boyfriend....
Ireplywith_memes 0
Billy Mays here! Parent judging you? Get the CHAINSAW! OHSHI-
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Comments (57)
yanecitaLMAO 0
wow instead of saying it was yer fault or it wasnt blah blah blah blah bleh yeah we get it & if u want my advice which is waaaaaaay way better here it is: get HIM another effin present duhh xD
Lujia 0
Awww, Kelly. Dudes. People who are bagging on little K, the chocolates were from See's Candies & the label only said "Milk Chocolate" on it- no one said anything about nuts. >_>;;
Liin 0
Wow Kelly you would do that.... haha I've been trying to give peanut m&m's to Leland forever... my plan hasn't worked very well.. haha
Adamsfault 0
I have a peanut allergy myself, and I say it's totally his fault. People hand me things all the time and I have to ask about the peanuts and walnuts content. Even family members "try to kill me" on a regular basis. Sorry you had to deal with this, Kelly. PS--he SHOULD know that about the only chocolate he can have are Hershey kisses. Punk.
gtridr 1
greeneye_fml 12
I used to work in a Godiva store, we always warned people that if the intended recipient had nut allergies we couldn't guarantee the product had not come into contact with nuts. So ask!
mizzamalluver 0
omg i feel soo bad 4 u! FUL! does she still let you talk and date?
terriibabiiix23 0
girl you fail at life
lbdancing 2
At the same time you should've known this about your boyfriend, your boyfriend should've checked the ingredients before he ate the chocolates! If he's deathly allergic, which he may be since his mother thinks you tried to kill him, he would check the chocolates since practically every box of chocolates has nuts or is processed in a factory that handles nuts! Totally nuts.
lbdancing 2
Okay the comment entered before I was finished. But if he didn't eat the chocolates yet, what's the mother flipping out for? Honest mistake. I have a friend who's a vegetarian, but I forget that all the time because she just doesn't seem like someone who would be veggie. I know that sounds rather silly, but it's true.
lbdancing 2
I usually see them as either a) somewhat health-conscious, b) having some concern/regard for animal welfare, or c) having basic hygienic skills, since the usual reasons for being vegetarian happen to go hand in hand with at least one of the aforementioned qualities. My friend has none of these.
lbdancing 2
Those are just points I have based on my own experience. Generalizing about a group of people is similar to doing the same to other people, but they have to be made if you are trying to talk about a bunch of people. That's why I try not to say "all" and "everyone." So from most of the vegetarians I do know, they follow at least one of A, B, or C. You will have a different viewpoint since you know different people from me. Oh well my friend takes a shower maybe twice a week, and doesn't brush her teeth, wash her face, or comb her hair every day. I sort of feel bad because I can smell her from a mile away, but there really is no sensitive way to tell a person they may want to consider washing up a little more often. I just hope her roommate is okay.
jenwahh 1
yeah i know what you mean about the veggie thing :) one of my friends has been vegan for his whole life, and his whole family is too. but people still forget and give him chocolate and stuff. he gives it all to me :) BUT, it still sucks cause its not really the first thing people think of.