Miscellaneous: Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school....

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 14:51 - Ireland

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 177

You deserved it 48 174

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Same thing different taste

By younggrammy - 20/08/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 251

You deserved it 45 534

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 736

You deserved it 7 583

Sex ed is broken

By Laura B. - 13/08/2022 22:00

Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 186

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 506

You deserved it 6 713

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 937

You deserved it 8 714

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 106

You deserved it 3 894

By Anonymous - 06/08/2015 19:37 - Canada

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 777

You deserved it 7 366

By fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 897

You deserved it 17 022

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 627

By Acu7519 - 16/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 219

You deserved it 854

HSOMGF 5

Saturday 19 February 2011 19:56

Who tells someone they're pregnant in a text? Don't people talk face to face anymore? Sad and YTDI.

you_failed 15

Saturday 19 February 2011 19:52

Wow, what irony! D: I hope you DID have safe sex. If you didn't YDI.

Comments

kbby3 9

Tuesday 5 February 2013 5:42

Well.... Nothing says a good lesson than personal experience right?? Lol

Luluthus 41

Friday 14 March 2014 20:03

Practice what you preach

doglover100 28

Friday 18 April 2014 22:53

If you are both adults with jobs, I don't see anything wrong.

robynlee123 9

Sunday 19 October 2014 0:00

practice what you preach

fantasyworld 37

Friday 15 May 2015 4:14

If they are both adults with steady jobs and have a place to live, I don't see a problem.

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The Top

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 601

You deserved it 31 501

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 840

You deserved it 9 563

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 356

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 032

You deserved it 5 720

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 392

You deserved it 2 293

Today, I looked up 8 videos, questioned my entire existence, actually hurt myself, and cried profusely trying to open a bottle of wine. Just in case anyone thought I was smart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 378

Same thing different taste

Sex ed is broken

Bad start

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