Intimacy: Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have...

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 06:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 056

You deserved it 76 054

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By MarkQ95 - 21/07/2013 23:58 - Ireland

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 836

You deserved it 59 745

Bad start

By Anonymous - 04/08/2014 23:04 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 9 179

Thanks

By Miami6and3 - 26/08/2013 18:22 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 480

You deserved it 5 314

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 101

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 07:52 - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 9 228

No thanks

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 14:01

Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 164

By ohmylordy - 29/10/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 342

You deserved it 6 656

By Numou - 08/12/2008 07:26 - France

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 4 242

By Nox - 06/01/2010 07:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 7 691

Alexa, play "Why Can't I Be You?" by The Cure

By UGHHHH - 17/10/2023 00:02

Today, my best friend and longtime crush actually said the words, “Why can’t I find a girl like you?” I told him, “I'm a girl like me, am I not enough?” He winced, hemmed and hawed at the answer, then quickly changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 188

imustbeinsane 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 11:41

Now you got 100 problems and a bitch is one

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 6 December 2011 11:39

YDI?

Comments

AndieAvacado 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:01

this has YDI written all over it :P

Awnonymous 4

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:37

If she didn't think it was a good reply she wouldn't be worth your time, dawg.

brandon137 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:37

ahaha that's the way to do it

chels1994 11

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:07

Obviously....

GenHugoStiglitz 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:09

idiot

jalupe 4

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:11

you defintley deserve it. do you kno what i would give for a hot girl to ask me that question?

kateheartswaffle 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:13

I would've laughed. I think that's funny.

LordWicker 1

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:14

This made my LOL, but yes, probably not the response I would have gone with

ajjucool 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:15

Dude... Seriously??? you said that???

nelsokev 6

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:16

Smooth.

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Kids Money Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams School Education Parents Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 457

You deserved it 2 906

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

The Top

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 289

You deserved it 12 642

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 988

You deserved it 5 363

Today, I swung my arm with a product in my hand, and the product flew out of the packaging and hit an old lady on her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 844

You deserved it 1 420

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 420

You deserved it 5 387

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 296

Today, my car broke down in traffic. It's okay though, everyone honked in support while I moved my vehicle from the busy intersection. Only the third time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 630

You deserved it 1 020