Intimacy: Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have...

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 06:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 056

You deserved it 76 054

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By MarkQ95 - 21/07/2013 23:58 - Ireland

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 836

You deserved it 59 745

Bad start

By Anonymous - 04/08/2014 23:04 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 9 179

Thanks

By Miami6and3 - 26/08/2013 18:22 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 480

You deserved it 5 314

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 101

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 07:52 - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 9 228

No thanks

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 14:01

Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 164

By ohmylordy - 29/10/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 342

You deserved it 6 656

By Numou - 08/12/2008 07:26 - France

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 4 242

By Nox - 06/01/2010 07:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 7 691

Alexa, play "Why Can't I Be You?" by The Cure

By UGHHHH - 17/10/2023 00:02

Today, my best friend and longtime crush actually said the words, “Why can’t I find a girl like you?” I told him, “I'm a girl like me, am I not enough?” He winced, hemmed and hawed at the answer, then quickly changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 188

imustbeinsane 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 11:41

Now you got 100 problems and a bitch is one

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 6 December 2011 11:39

YDI?

Comments

fiblydinkerton 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:28

Good answer she must be a bitch

TheDrummingResul 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:55

BOOM MONEY! that's how it's done!

Briarpatch1799 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:59

Lol nice the first time i heard that song i knew somebody was gonna do thaf

Aerofresh 3

Tuesday 6 December 2011 23:06

I'm sorry but this fml made me stop becoming a lurker on here and make an account to say this: Dude if you keep using that line it's gonna stay like that until you wise up lol.