Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully... - FML

By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 852

You deserved it 16 178

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 900

You deserved it 6 028

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 126

You deserved it 4 519

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 1 562

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 867

You deserved it 10 208

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 168

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 1 279

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 801

You deserved it 8 020

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 833

You deserved it 19 274

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 970

Next

Top comments

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

B4m1337 9

Monday 31 December 2012 22:02

Wow...I'm 15 and I'm three inches bigger than that 0.o

JeWbOy101 11

Friday 18 January 2013 15:27

I have the IPhone 5 which has to be around 5 inches and there are much longer phones out there. the average is 5-6 inches so i would assume that there are many guys smaller than either their or their partner's phone. Js.

_bbybustitopen 9

Sunday 24 February 2013 2:19

lmfaooooooo, you poor unfortunate soul.

irishgal13 5

Monday 6 May 2013 17:46

it shouldn't matter if you love him...

paulhawkes 5

Friday 14 June 2013 20:33

Certainly sucks...

hawkknight 24

Saturday 15 June 2013 5:35

If you love him it shouldnt matter.

octaviamarieb 18

Thursday 5 September 2013 4:01

oh no.. I'm so sorry! I hope things are okay with you guys.

josh770 2

Tuesday 3 December 2013 5:49

If u love him it dosent matter

oksk8ers 9

Thursday 12 December 2013 18:30

Micro

1stones 8

Saturday 28 December 2013 21:27

Its not the size...its how u use it. Just kidding it all bout the size

52
53
54
55
56
57
58

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Parenting Poopoo peepee Kids Family Cheating Love NSFW Fight Awkward Sex Intimacy Lonely Shopping AITA Work Make up Money Miscellaneous Dreams Medication Liar Weird Weddings Embarrassing Anniversary Health Confused Healthy Lifestyle Neighbours Noise

The Top

The Top

Today, I went into labor. I called my mother to ask her to drive me to the hospital. She wanted me to wait for her to take a nap first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 962

You deserved it 1 074

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 306

You deserved it 2 905

Today, I hugged a man I thought was my dad at the airport. It wasn't my dad. The man’s actual family stood nearby, watching me cling to their father for a solid 5 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 398

Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 145

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home, so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes, I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years, until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 270

You deserved it 4 373

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 188

You deserved it 3 589