Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML
Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
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Top comments
WeeWizeL 0
So, what's all the buzz about?
TurkeyBaconLovin 0
didnt notice the smell?!
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Comments (132)
Wadlaen 24
Well, as a couple of others have suggested in some comments above: now you know what to get her for her next birthday!😉
randybryant799 21
So your phone went Missing every night yet you continued to leave it in the same place? wtf?